Lemons, ok

And she's gone.

2009-12-08T00:47:00.001+08:00

♥ http://yellowandbluee.blogspot.com
♥ http://yellowandbluee.blogspot.com
♥ http://yellowandbluee.blogspot.com

Yes, double e.
Relink. Or not. :)

Oh my god.

2009-11-29T14:59:00.002+08:00

I'm going to Japan.

~~Don't kill me but~~
it feels like I'm going home.

:)

The flight's at 11pm but I have a few things to take care of before I leave, so, I'll leave now. Somehow I doubt I'll have enough sense (and cash) to access a computer with Internet somewhere, so, yeah. This is it.

Macam balik kampung. :DDDDD

I need a shower.

2009-11-27T23:14:00.002+08:00

Okay, so, I'm tired. Had fun though, despite the (many) sarcastic remarks that came from my family- "Alia masak wei! ni kena ambik gambar ni!"

But lempap is like the easiest thing in the world to cook anyway. AHAH. Mcm la hebat sgt. Thanks to late efforts, we only ended up having our dinner at 9:30. It was almost half past ten when we finished the clean-up.

I STILL SMELL LIKE MEAT.

Straight after, I had to pack my check-in luggage for Japan. Stressed and fretted over which t-shirts to bring, after all, ~~first impressions are important and you never know who you're going to meet~~ I wanted to be prepared for "anything". And, more importantly, I wanted to NOT look like a gaijin. :p

So. Now. I. Am. Tired.
I think I said that already, but there's no such thing as too much emphasis.

I need a really hot, really long shower now.

*

New Moon was so deliciously laughable.
Top 10 Distinctive LOL-worthy Moments:
(If you want to laugh spoiler-free, please stop reading).

1. Edward getting down from the car and having a total Zac Efron moment.
2. Jasper's face.
3. Jasper's face.
4. Still Jasper's face.
5. The "Baywatch In The Woods" scene.
6. The weird music in the action scenes.
7. The sparkles oh god the sparkles
8. The black vampire with the French accent
9. The random elevator (it wasn't THAT random in the book, was it?)
10. Rosalie's hair ~~it still bugs me that they just can't get a natural blonde to play a damn blonde WHY LIFE WHY~~

"I smell like meat!"

2009-11-27T20:32:00.001+08:00

otherwise
known
as

Salam Aidiladha. :)
May the public holiday and the staggering amount of meat not be the only things that are beneficial to all of us on this date.

♥

But seriously.
I smell like meat.

Narration, because I can't keep my thoughts to myself.

2009-11-27T04:44:00.005+08:00

So to get myself some footing (I skipped an entire fight, remember), I started from Episode 134. Jiraiya is dead, so I put my em0 face on for a bit, then I get a little excited to see all six Pains standing together (though wtf crappy animation is crappy), and then WHOAAA ZETSU. Hi. :D

Bla bla bla bla Suigetsu and Karin are fighting so muchh, they pro'ly gon' start making babies real soon, with poor innocent bird-loving Juugo trapped in the cross-fire [like Jun between Sakuraiba, yosh!]; hating that pink-haired Sakub33tch as much as the SuiKarin, and lol for me just noticing after a YEAR of converting into Narutardism that Naruto [the character] wears slippers, like, all the freaking time.

OMG IT'S SAUCE. With weird hair and awkward animation [this isn't my favourite squad, I hope D: or it's all downhill from here], but nonetheless, it is THE Sauce.

OMG IT'S ITASASU.
Itasasu is like Juntoshi- it's so incredibly WRONG on so many LEVELS....... and yet there is still such an embarassingly large fanbase. >:(
But still. Itasasu. It doth kiiill.

[Inserts shameless promo for Ohmiya, Yunjae & Narusasu- a.k.a. the only "Weird" pairings you should ever support.]

[Sakuraiba is not included because Sakuraiba is not weird, it's lovely and married and full of smart things.]

__

This post will be frequently updated. Be warned.

*

...
BEAUTIFUL.

They reportrayed Itachi's massacre of his whole clan, complete with BLOODSPLATS, SWORD SILHOUETTES, and his last moments before he readied himself (I almost teared up when he whispered "Thank you" to his mother). I love how they showed his arrogant demeanor to his superiors, but as soon as he sees Sasuke's terrified face he drops to his knees and asks for their forgiveness.

Beautiful.
It's so, so, so, beautiful.

(Also- I'm kind of sad I missed the forum's weekly discussion on this ep. I bet it would have gotten loads of 10/10s.)

(135 animation is superb.)
(I am having a "Chou! Umai!" moment except it's in reference to gory blood scenes, not yummy food with yummy people on a yummy show.)

Sleepless.

2009-11-27T04:30:00.003+08:00

One of those nights.

Then amidst my Youtube-browsing (it's always fastest at ungodly hours of the morning, I notice, must be something to do with the fact that other, normal people sleep at this time of day), I suddenly had a craving for something yellow, blue and orange. (Naruto la- doii.)

So I opened my usual fix after, what, 2 weeks? I kinda got shifty once the Jiraiya-Konan fight started, since I figured that if I couldn't even stop putting myself into bloody depression when I read about his death, there's a pretty high probability that I'll start bawling when I see it animated. Full-screen. :( So I bailed for a little bit and kept to my manga forums, where nobody bothers to watch the anime anyway, we're so far ahead.

BUT.
The first thing that, BAM, hits my eyes when I opened OPoB is:
Episode 137 is out.
& I'm like, holysht that's fast. But I digress.
Do you know what this glorious episode is entitled?
AMETERASU.
Do you know what this means?
It means my f*cking favourite scene in the whooooooole manga (after VotE) is about to be animated. Well, actually, HAS been animated, I je yang sesat belum tengok lagi.

*squeeing ensues*

Excited ninja is excited.
ON WITH THE GORE~!
*abandons sleep for the rest of the night*

And I thought I was scary...

2009-11-26T17:23:00.003+08:00

From the "birthday party". ♥

From here.

From here.

xDDDDDDD

OTANJOUBI OMEDETOU!

2009-11-26T11:08:00.002+08:00

Ohno Satoshi, jg dikenali sbg Oh-chan, Riidaa, Kapitan XD, Maou/Naruse, Kento, the weird guy who cameod in YamaTarou dan Suami Nadia.

He turns thirty todayyy!
WTF
I totally made him one year older :PPP
He turns 29 today. Right? :S
Yes lah.
26/11/1989 dakara.
29!!!
Sorryyyyy oh-chan ;p

I missed the party on twitter, fck. SO SORRY GAIS. :(

*FLIPS OFF THESE FREAKING TIMEZONES*

Livejournal gempak.

2009-11-26T11:03:00.001+08:00

Q: What (if any) books would you ban from a high school library? Are there certain subjects that you feel are inappropriate for teenagers regardless of literary merit?

(one of)
A: Twilight. All of them. Ban them: Some of us like our books to have literary merit and not bloody well glorify pedophilia, stalking,emotional abuse, and misogyny, all under the guise of a crappy romance. Also, Vampires should never sparkle. That is all.

*

But I'm going to watch New Moon today.
Why?
Because Sarah Elise is my loverrrrr. x)

Scary. But cool. Still scary.

2009-11-24T03:09:00.007+08:00

O HAI BIGGEST FANBASE IN THE WORLD.

*Is proud to be a part of the Red Ocean.

No, I'm not really sure what brought on that either :/
Maybe it's the fact that I just took a listen to the Cassies' first single, Love Melody.

That's right, hos. My fandom RELEASES SINGLES.
(Does yours? BD)

[imgcredit - Google.]

A short farewell?

2009-11-23T19:43:00.001+08:00

1. My second brother,
who is staying with us (+ wife&babies) temporarily,
has been stealing all our bandwidth by downloading movies.
And more movies.
And more movies.
So that he can watch said movies on his new iMac.
[disapproval]

After much uproar from the rest of the society of Astaman Family HQ (read: the whines of my third brother and myself), he stopped so yeah.

2. There are four babies in my house.
Ahmad Adam bin Ahmad Arif, first son of first brother, 3 years
Sara Alyssa bin Ahmad Zaki, first daughter of second brother, 2 years
Dania Zaharah (affectionately known as DANNY Z), first daughter of first brother, 4 months
Ahmad Izlan bin Ahmad Zaki, first son of second brother, 40 days (today)

I think this is pretty self-explanatory. FOUR BABIES.
Two out of which have (obviously) more mitochondria than they will ever need in their lifespan.
Two out of which are as territorial as.... cats. Stray cats. Yes.
Am I territory? Of course.

3. Accounts is draining my life. Tomorrow is assessment for the first three chapters of Form Five.
Die a little bit, but can la.

4. Japanese is NOT draining my life, but my sanity. Yes, I consider the two seperate entities.
WHY do they have so many words?
I have now taken to the practice of writing out characters on newspapers, rough paper, my hands, and actually any flat surface.
Two weeks to Doomsday. The nervousness kind of outweighs my finals, do you believe this?

5. ... Holiday = family = no computer.
It's time to take a step back from the screen and socialize with my dear sibs more.
So, speaking of, I gotta go noww.
13 out of 14 of us are here at HQ tonight for dinner.
I'm not really sure how we're going to fit at our 7-seat table.
...But hey. It's family. We'll manage.
:)

*

UUUHHHH.
I have a journal. The keep-track-of-things kind.
Mostly it's going to be my exercise (+diet) routine,
and what cute things the four babies currently residing in my house did for the day.
You can try to find it if you want.

Of doors opening & closing.

2009-11-22T19:43:00.002+08:00

Life sucks because I can't go for the Prefects Movie Marathon Plus Lunch Outing on Tuesday because my last two lessons for Accounts got moved forward to Monday and Tuesday, both afternoon times.

Life rocks because my last two lessons got moved forward, meaning I don't have to come back after Japan.

Life sucks because despite being something of a perfectionist myself, pre-exam stressing out on my Japanese is driving me crazy.

Life rocks because despite driving me crazy, it is thanks to my pre-exam stressing out that I now watch anime without subs.

Life sucks because I'm ready to wear tudung- no more dresses, no more caring what my fringe looks like, no more short-sleeved t-shirts.

Life rocks because I'm ready to wear tudung- dresses with tights are the in thing, no more caring what my fringe looks like, and my mom not caring what t-shirts I wear because now long sleeves can be bought seperately.

Life sucks because SPM's coming soon.

Life rocks because the sooner it comes, the sooner it goes- and then off we go to college.

*

Arashi t-shirt arrived today.
Sabina's party rocked today.
Everyone's here today.
My brothers talked to each other today.

It's a good, good, good, good day.

A week.

2009-11-21T18:15:00.001+08:00

A week a week a week a week

Nana: you.. i rasa nervous la..
Alia: eh? why la?
Nana: tah.. i rasa mcm i balik kampung suami..

LMAO. Even though this conversation happened some time ago. It still makes me laugh.

I want.

2009-11-20T21:00:00.002+08:00

This.
This.
THIS.

& of course,
This.

*

More geekdom.

I swear, if anime turns into another Twilight, I will hang myself. :)

(And God better hope that no damn Westerners come and say "HEY LET'S MAKE MORE MONEY! LET'S MAKE A MOVIE OUT OF NARUTO/BLEACH/ONE PIECE!" If they do, then they might as well be prepared to BURN DOWN. Literally. I will go there and set the movie sets aflame. -The exception is, of course, if they do it right. Then I will squee happily.-)

Pre-Japan I

2009-11-20T18:01:00.002+08:00

8 more days. Well, 9 if you want to count the rest of today & ten if you want to count the rest of today and the wait for our flight which is at 11pm.

But anyway.

Top ~~Five~~ ~~Ten~~ Fifteen Things I Want To Do In Japan:
1. Buy Johnny's merchandise.
2. See the Fuji (mountain).
3. See the Fuji (TV Station).
4. Sit on the train and understand the conversations around me.
5. Exchange friendly greetings with a local.
6. Stand outside the stadium during the Arashi concert and rejoice in being within 100 metres of the sparkles.
7. Sing along with the concert. (Might die of pneumonia, but it's Arashi.)
8. Buy Naruto merchandise.
9. Take a picture with the Haagen Dazs vending machine.
10. Take a picture (okay, many pictures) with crazy cosplayers in Harajuku.
11. HARAJUKU.
12. SHIBUYA. Like in Sensei wa Erai.
13. "Subtly" look around for anyone that might look like a Johnny's member.
* By the way, can I just mention how sucky it is that Johnny's artists aren't allowed to take pictures or sign autographs for fans? D:
14. Not look like a tourist in a train station.
15. ~~Break into~~ Visit Keikarou ~~and find out whether Aiba ever brings his friends home for dinner~~.

Apology.

2009-11-20T18:00:00.001+08:00

I hate it when my words hurt more than help.
So, I'm sorry.

X

Wtf is this travesty?!

2009-11-19T19:18:00.002+08:00

My father bought himself a 27-inch iMac.

What happened to the 24-inch one?

It went to my second brother's room.

*falls dead*
BUT WHY LIFE WHY

A 1000 words.

2009-11-18T23:46:00.000+08:00

Top 4 simultaneously.

Serrrr whine

2009-11-18T23:19:00.002+08:00

You, my friend, are bertepuk-ing sebelah tangan.

I came back to say,
I'm watching New Moon with 2 groups of people to make fun of it,
and ONE SINGLE INDIVIDUAL to actually ~~attempt to~~ appreciate.

See how much I love you, Sarah Elise? ♥

ohohoho

2009-11-18T22:18:00.006+08:00

7:30 A comel song from the comel juniors of Form 2; Iylia, Sarah & Dayana. *squishes the cuteness* (Don't worry June, you are cute too even if you wished slightly later, LOL.)

7:50 Everyone gets called into the Prefect Room, and I'm like "Oh man gonna get scolded on my birthday D:" but then a cake popped out of nowhere and there was a song.

8:..30? After I'm already full from the cheese cake (TQ YAN+SHIV I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU *love*), Fitch says there's a meeting in the PRS room. So I go, expecting to get a lecture, and booooom another cake pops out of nowhere, and another song was sung, this time with candles. Kudos to Ash for cutting the cake.

8:00pm "Someone" (Syazanaaa!) let it slip to Mdm Leong that it was my birthday today. A random candle was taken out and lighted up (in a scary manner), and everyone dropped everything and, yes, another song LOL.

10pm I come home & my Gmail inbox is spammed with "so-and-so wrote HAPPY BIRTHDAY on your wall!" Some unfamiliar names, but WHO CARES? :D Thanks everyone!

10.30pm Cried with pride because NarutoForums sent me a birthday wish tooo! And some free.. geekoid.. stuff.. that you wouldn't be interested in. xD

Continuously : There were sausages. Burgers. YUMMY FISH. As a good prefect I won't tell you where exactly they ended up having their "barbecue", but anyway. Thanks to Aniq, Arif & Imran for the good food! And Ben, for keeping up with our orders. ♥

*

Time for incoherent, somewhat sentimental ranting!

Presents! This is my first year keeping a wrapper just because someone special wrapped it. Today was sweet, and not because of the massive amount of CAKE I consumed.

It put a lot of things into perspective for me. :) I mean.. I got a great family, (relatively) good health, my forever-and-ever soulmate Nana, the other one :P Fitch, awesomesauce friends like Shiv & Yan, awesomesauce friends THAT SEND FLOWERS TO ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY FROM ADELAIDE OMGSH BABE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH *SQUISHES THE FAR AWAY BEST FRIEND*, awesomesauce friends from schools all around (MEGAN LYDS QISSAY SHANNON FATIN SYAZA NADIA), Arashi, Nino (BECAUSE HE BE A SEPERATE ENTITY, IKR), Naruto, manga in general, Japanese, the knowledge that whatever I got, I actually earned it... And... Yeah.

There's some more but Accounts pretty much wiped me out. My point is, my life is already saturated with awesomesauce stuff. So why be a bitch, get so pissy and waste blog space (though it's infinite) on the NOT-awesomesauce stuff of my life. Right? I shall be like my sister, who mastered the skill of ignorance despite being a genius. I laf you Kak Aida. (:

As long as it's not directly affecting MY future (which I staunchly believe in), who cares about being the better person despite getting the label "Traitor" and receiving "I thought you were supposed to be our friend" faces ALL the time?

After all, different people use different means of handling different stresses. The stress of actually studying for an exam, contohnya, is ultimately different than the stress of kena kantoi copy orang. Kawan sendiri pulak tu! But anyway x), my POINT is, if you're the kind of person who copes with your "stress" by making people feel bad about themselves, then... Dude, go ahead. Release your stress. Make your angry face and rawrrrr! Gather thy angry mob and rawrrrr even louder! Don't forget to call me an interesting variety of names ~~that don't even make sense~~ ^_^, and please spell my name correctly in any insults on Facebook statuses/threatening notes/racist jokes you wish to make. Feel free to use the 'F' word (my dad found my blog -.- no more swearing for meeee~) behind/before my name at any given time of day if it makes you feel any better about yourself, and, well, turning people against me rather takes a lot of EFFORT, and since that goes against your principle of life I don't think you'll be doing that, but I think every rule has an exception, you can consider that an option too, since I have what I need. Oh, and, if you want to gather around me and shout baseless accusations in my ears like "WHY ARE YOU SUCH A LIAR OMYGAWD WEI" please do it before 2:15 because generally, I like to eat lunch at home. Kay? Kay. ^^; Plskthx&ttyl. :D

The orchids are SOOOO. PRETTY. <3
I have to squish someone soon, so full of positive energy. :D

p/s: Gotta give love to my parents, people! It's their anniversary today too! ♥

p/p/s: Oh yeah. And thanks for wishing me happy birthday. Oh- wait - no. Nevermind.

O hai legal age to drive a motorcycle :D

2009-11-18T06:45:00.003+08:00

<3
Thanks for the early morning wishes guys.

The best thing about not staying up 'til five minutes past midnight on your own birthday is that you get to wake up with tons of texts, capslock-ing the same thing.

Fitch called. :) Sorry for being very incoherent bbz.

*

My dad got me an ARASHI COLLECTORS' EDITION 1999-2009 PHOTOBOOK.
I'm still giggling.

Enamoured w life right now.

Dozing off...

2009-11-17T20:53:00.002+08:00

1 hour and a half left to my birthday, and ironically I've never been sleepier before twelve.

People with eating disorders are not recommended to watch videos of skinny Korean dolls.
It makes you hate the world, somewhat.

Scales & arpeggios were merciless today.

Only the soft strains of 虹 are keeping me calm right now.

Hop, up, jump, in!

2009-11-17T19:02:00.002+08:00

Squeeze
Stretch
Pat
Philipe
The Saw (LOL)
The Other Screw-driver
Flick
& one more. Can't remember what.

I love Handy Manny.

*

Saya gila. biar ah x) mentang2 la birthday esok kan.

Sweet sixteen ~~kononnya~~.

Nothing's been sweet about this year excpt additions to the family (ye, termasuk abg ipar xD) and the Fitch to my Abercrombie.

*

Nadia-chan! Gambatte! ): Akiramenai yo!
Nihon ga matte iru kara. ♥
*sends good karma + love*

*

Melor dh bagi present. Sgt cute. :DDDDDD
Knp byk cakap BM hari ni?
Saja. Malas nak fikir.

" One of those days "
fufu. <3

Gilaaaa

2009-11-17T18:59:00.000+08:00

"
Arashi monopolizes top 1-4 spots for first week singles sales of 2009

The five-member group Arashi debuted at the top of single rankings for the week of November 23rd with their new song "My Girl". Following their own "Ashita no Kioku/Crazy Moon ~kimi wa muteki~" (with a first week sales of 502,487 copies, released this May) and "Believe/Kumorinochi, Kaisei" (with a first week sales of 501,988 copies, released this March), they recorded the third highest first week sales of 2009 with sales of 430,000 copies after one week since its release. In addition to this, combined with the fourth highest first week sales for the single "Everything" (released this July) at 342,000 copies, the top four spots of 2009's first week singles sales are all being monopolized by Arashi at this point in time.

Furthermore, this is Arashi's 24th time to capture the the top spot for singles sales, and also their 17th consecutive since "PIKANCHI DOUBLE", released in February of 2004. Even Arashi's "5x10 All the BEST! CLIPS 1999-2009" DVD released on October 28th has recorded sales of over 500,000 copies in two weeks in a thorough display of their popularity. With the year's end, future record-breaking and more, their sales trends are currently drawing much attention.

Regarding this piece of work, not only is it the theme song of fellow member Aiba Masaki's first featured drama, "My Girl" (TV Asahi) which began airing on October 9th, it also includes the coupling track "Tokei Jikake no Umbrella", the theme song to drama "0 Goushitsu no Kyaku" (Fuji TV) which started on the 23rd of the same month.
"

Sayang. <3

kaotsun!

2009-11-17T01:16:00.000+08:00

Best Youtube dancer, ever.
I picked this one sbb boleh nampak muka dia (which is a rare thing because of that damn ~~cuteOMGIWANTIT~~ suit she wears in almost all her vids!).

Scary epic cool thing (Pt II)

2009-11-16T23:05:00.001+08:00

1986, 13 tahun. Zaman di mana segala-galanya masuk akal. Aku boleh berhadapan dengan dunia dengan gagah. Come what may, I will laugh at yr face. You don't scare me.

Memang itu pun yang aku lakukan. Sengih. Gelak. Buat bising. Jika dunia yang bising dengan porak peranda, aku hanya tersengih. Dan timbulkan kebisingan yang lebih lagi. Shut up world, you're in MY world. And I'm the loudest fucker around here.

From here.

Reminds me of someone.

' aku tak mengerti. jadi aku hisap bantal busuk. '

Life, and then some.

2009-11-16T22:52:00.000+08:00

3 hours of Accs, followed by
dinner with Ayah
and Baskin Robbins
while explaining the concepts of Johnny's.

I love how all the men of my family (except the staunch non-believer, Abang Arif :P) are interested in Johnny's at least marketing-wise. Because. You have to face it, right? Johnny Kitagawa is a genius. :D Slightly perverted and not quite right in the head- but a genius nonetheless.

Scary epic cool thing

2009-11-16T17:23:00.002+08:00

And again,
suka hati aku la nak cakap melayu ke english ke japanese ke korea ke bangladesh ke bukan aku makan duit kau.bukan kau tanggung aku makan pakai.diri sendiri punya spender pun mak yang tanggung lagi nak berlagak pulak dengan aku ape hal??

alfd;aslfka
LOLWUT.

Oh no.

2009-11-16T17:06:00.004+08:00

No pun intended. -_-

Gambatte, ne? Senpai.

-

p/s I have Accs on my sixteenth birthday.
Sure sign of my destiny man. -_-
-_-
-_-
My face was perpetually stuck in this smiley today.
-_-
-_-
-_-
And I didn't go to school because I woke up late. :fails:

The brighter thing is, Nana's pizza was noice. (:
(Btw, first birthday present of the year.)
(Well, not counting the trip to Japan because we haven't gone yet. Ne?)
(Nana need to call you abt the tix.)
(But I don't know where my phone is, shit.)

p/p/s Orait! (laughs for the first time all day)
Layan blog 'dak kolej.
best.
ORAIT.
a;dklfajsd;flkajsd;fkasdfasdfafa :fails again:

p/p/p/s I reached out to someone, crap, falling on my face here
):
):
But it feels kind. of. nice.
ORAIT.
=)

Old pic is old.

2009-11-16T16:55:00.002+08:00

Shun? :S
Is that Shun?

We're friends, right?

2009-11-16T12:48:00.002+08:00

Look, everyone's hurt right now. Chandni's death is a blow to all of us, so I don't want this to stand between us. But here's the deal- my post wasn't even referring to you.

If she doesn't talk, and you don't talk, you won't call me up even when I told you to.

I'm just saying, name-calling is unnecessary. Ganging up on her was not necessary.

So you won't call me.
But will you call her?

I'm not the one you owe the apology to.

*

She didn't make up anything. I know, because I asked teacher.

I know, because I was there when she told teacher and teacher said she already knew.

So who's lying?

*

You say you have dreams. Dreams don't go anywhere without hard work. Have your fun, but as your friend I won't allow you to have fun that you will regret later. You say you won't regret, but sayang, we all grow up.

I'm sorry about your health. I'm sorry that you feel life has to be this way. I'm sorry you feel that you feel the only stereotype in the world are the ones who study for their future. You don't think the ones that make excuses so that they live a wild life while they're young are a stereotype too?

I won't shut up. I still love you, despite the different ways we grew up with ourselves. Me, preserving my happiness for later. You, spending your happiness now.

Maybe that's okay for you.

But okay, let's take your words. I'm kind of confused, cuz, you know, you said God knows life isn't too long. You actually said the word GOD. So you're going to spend it.. moshing? Being wild? Pictures in bikinis? If life is as short as you make out to be, shouldn't you be going the other direction now?

And now I sound like I'm lecturing, I know, but just to let you know, Muslims that say they haven't got long to live try to spend their last years (not implying that you're having your last years) actually being Muslims. And I bet you're going to reply with a post saying that I'm not a perfect Muslim, I know, but I acknowledge that. And I know that life is short, and after Chandni's death I've been praying more than ever for everything wrong that I've done. So you cope with your grief in a different way, I don't mind, but still. Just to let you know, you're still a Muslim. No matter how long or short your life is.

*

It's true I don't know what you go through. But do you know what kind of shit life she has? No. Even I don't know, she only lets me know half the story and then nods it off.

You know she has problems, right? You know how many people talk about her? You know how many people she's trusted, only to be betrayed?

Me, I have Fazlan.
You, you have Gloria and possibly 300 other people to back you up.

But how many fake smiles has she had to go through?

And how many times did she cry?
None.

I'm not saying she's stronger than you. I'm just saying, she's strong too. She could have quit the prefectorial board a long time ago- and we would have been lost without her. You know why? Because she did the work. Yes, she's not the only one who CAN do the work. But she's the only one who DID.

I have to ask you this, but you say you asked the teachers to punish you instead of Gloria.

But didn't you both do it?

I'll leave that question unanswered. You should be able to figure it out yourself.

*

Everyone has problems. Just because you feel your problem is bigger than someone else's, do you feel you have a right to do what you did to her?

And your health is completely irrelevant. Chandni was sick, wasn't she? But she had a healthy mind, she was happy, she kept her friends, and she fought with smiles until the end. She didn't accept it, shrug her shoulders and go completely ballistic with freedom. You have freedom, great. Don't abuse it.

*

And now we're completely off-topic. In that first post, did I tell you (well technically the post was meant for someone else, but since you felt the heat it must've been you at the heart of the plan) how to live your life? Did I tell you to "behave"? Don't twist my words, I know what I said. I told you to call me, and explain yourself so that I can know your side of the story.

But you still said it in your blog anyway right? Like I did.
Guess we're as bad as each other in that sense.

*

I'm not even sure where we went wrong. We used to be close, right?
Why did we drift apart anyway?

*

Why do you know you won't have a future, babe? Why do you just.. abandon it? You say you won't abandon your happiness, but you abandoned the thought of pursuing your dreams overseas?

Fight it.
You're a rebel, right?

Fight against THIS. Fight against your own mindset that you won't live until 30.

You're a fighter, right?

And even if we grow further and further apart, and even if you don't ever read my blog again and never see these words, let me say it: You're a fighter. You DON'T give up, you don't take shit from anything.

Well, don't take shit like this man.

*

You say you haven't given up in life. But yet you don't believe that you have a future. What are you saying?

*

As I write this, I'm crying for Chandni. She was awesome, right? She is awesome.

For her.

*

I don't know any of the things you think she did.
That's why I told you to call me. -_-

*

How can you be happy like that?
Giving a smile to people isn't the same as smiling for yourself.

*

I don't know how living a wild life makes you strong.
I don't know what you turned to, or why.
I look at your life, the way you live it- and I'm trying to see your 'strategy' to keep living life.
I don't see it.

But since you won't call me, and I think you didn't even reach to this level of the post- I guess I'll never see it.

*

Not telling you to follow the rules, or how to behave. Behave la how you want. Live life the way you want it to.

I'm tired of trying to help, and people saying I don't know shit. And when I already gave them a chance to explain themselves, I still apparently don't know shit. Because they don't call.

Do whatever you want la. I won't tell you to change if you're happy the way you are now. Just know that when I first met you in primary school, you were the last person I would have thought to turn out this way.

Note to self.

2009-11-15T01:42:00.003+08:00

Don't
read
character-death
fics
and
insert
own
life
into
said
fic
while
listening
to
Korean
ballads
of
lyrics
that
you
understand.

Wicked.

2009-11-15T00:15:00.002+08:00

I feel like in the past few days, I've been taking lots of leaps. Without-looking-left-and-right, keeping-the-faith-blindly kind of leaps. Some resulted painfully, with the severing of ties on my part- but I kept my integrity, at least. Other leaps got me where I wanted to be; a more confident, out-spoken person. And yet other leaps..? Well I could be talking about leaps all day.

Let's talk about a more light-hearted sort of leap.
A leap of fandom.

I'm not implying that to search for new bands is like switching political parties, okay? But it's just that, sometimes it's tiring to be in so many fandoms at once. As you've witnessed, I am a Stormy, Cassie, HeySay and an ELF. Three of the main Asian fanbases in the world right now. And while I find it easy to maintain my Jpop fandoms (since there's only two, and HeySay is inactive right now due to most of its' members facing school exams and such), my Kpop world is spiralling out of control. DBSK with its' lawsuit(s) and stubbornness, Super Junior with their suddenly-rebellious-and-conflicted members.

And, you see, for the average fan, it's okay. Because life goes on, Allkpop only takes up a 0.1% percentage of your day, you can whine it off on your blog and all is right again. But somehow, it's different when your only main fandoms are struggling to keep itself together. It's different when you've watched a thousand clips of them, stalked their cyworlds, know what's going on in their personal lives. They become a part of your life, like actual people in your actual world that you actually know.

It's scary, disorientating, and let's just say right now there's an annoying conscience berating my inner fan-girl for being so.. affected. I heard the news yesterday that DBSK's China concert was cancelled, and a 2010 comeback has been made impossible, and I got a fever. It's getting ridiculous. No, actually, it has already become ridiculous. If I weren't so upset with myself, I'd be sneering at myself like nobody's business.

So. Uh. My decision now is to... skip out. Not leave the fandoms entirely, of course, but to... Expand. Into other bands that are not as gigantic, not as mainstream, and don't have fandoms that tend to war with each other.

Thus, I've been looking around Youtube for new fandoms to pursue.

* For the boy reading this and is possibly going to be mad at me later, think about this:

3 bands = high concentration on each band = fanaticism will ensue because I have the time and energy to adore their music, their faces, their projects as a group, their personal projects (which includes solos, dramas, variety show appearances, magazine interviews, LOLWTF STALKER IZ ME), etc. etc. etc.

15 or so bands = low concentration on each band = I'll only have the time and energy to adore their music, instead of watching thousands of videos of them in variety shows, stalk their dramas, read their blogs, follow all communities, etc etc etc.

Get it? :)

So, yeah.
I'm stepping onto the road less travelled, so to speak.

First band that's not so popular that caught my eye:

1. f(x)!!

Like SNSD with less plastic surgery, funkier clothes and AMBER ♥ (she's the rapper). Lyds, I totally agree with you. That girl is wow. :D

2. u-kiss !!

Not as preppy as Suju/DBSK/Arashi, and I know they might seem a little creepy for my usual boyband tastes, but I think that's exactly what I'm looking for. Weird, wicked, and off-beat.

3. G-Dragon

Yeah, as a solo artist, not with Big Bang.
Cuz.
Come on.
You can't get any weirder than THIS guy. xD
And it's kinda catchy, this song.....

4. K.Will

♥ I just love his voice. Omgsh.

Awesome vocals are awesome.

5. T-ara

Because this music video made me tear up before I thought to myself "ALIA YOU'RE DOING THE LETTING-KPOP-AFFECT-YOU AGAIN."

I don't know why I'm blathering about insignificant things at a time like this.
I just know that I can't let myself think about it.
I know I will.
When I go to bed, and there's no pages upon pages of pretty faces to look at.
When there's no more distractions, and I have to look at the ugly truth.
She's gone.
I can't even see the words anymore.
All blurred out.
Hidden underneath "She's in a better place now"s and "She's suffered long enough"s.
It's being hidden, those two words, because we're young and naive and we're not equipped to handle this.
We're equipped to handle boybands breaking up, and boyfriends breaking up, and our favourite TV shows being cancelled.
We're not ready. We're not okay to handle this.
We look at ourselves and we laugh; we boast at our abilities to memorize words, understand formulas and speak eloquently.

But when this comes, we just fall apart.
Teenagers are good at falling apart, I think...

More tears.

2009-11-14T12:13:00.001+08:00

Can't. believe this is happening.

Chandni... You are a beautiful soul.
I hope your pain is gone now, and that you will find peace.

We love you.

.....
Life is so short...

Tears.

2009-11-13T16:18:00.003+08:00

Of different components, shed during different moments, due to different triggers. But tears all the same.

Ignorance is bliss.

I know too much now, and I just can't sit by and watch you trample her, demoralize her, for something that you DID do. The whole class saw, and felt shame on your behalf. Where's your shame? And bringing other people into the picture, what does that do for you? In all cases, if she did do what you said she did, what you shouted in front of everyone that she did, what you keep giving her fucking attitude about- was she wrong?

If you practiced what your religion preaches, is what you think she did wrong? Because it doesn't look like it to me. It looks like you're in the wrong. It looks like I'm in the wrong too, because I knew and yet I didn't say anything. Well, I'm saying something now.

Open my eyes to the fucking real world?
The fucking real world is full of crime, injustice, dishonesty, and low-lifes who will do anything to escape the trouble that they have brought upon themselves.

So because it's already full of it, you think it's okay to add more? To become one of those fallen people? If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Is that what you think?

You think you're great, because you found the courage to rebel.
Honey, trust me.
Everyone can rebel. It's instinct.
But where's your courage to owe up to what you did wrong?
Where's your courage to confront her alone and talk to her?
Can't see it from here.

So you hide. Hide with your Facebook statuses, your threats to harm her, hide behind your army. Where are you going with this? And furthermore, who the hell do you think you are?

Don't call me a saint, a preacher. Though I feel like I am, since I'm trying hard here, to not judge you. I've seen you be a leader, I've seen you be a caring friend. I've seen you be serious, and compassionate, and funny. So why are you doing this as if you want to act out a villain in a Disney movie?

You assumed, and you acted upon your assumptions, and those actions, well, let me just tell you that you have no idea what you fucking did to her. She's human, okay? I don't know what your twisted mind has distorted her existence into, but she's still, a motherfucking human being. Barely, now, after what you've done. Been doing. STILL doing.

You assumed.
So now let me assume this:
You are not the good person I thought you were.

You want to take self-defence? You want to tell your side of the story?
Talk to me.
Don't play fucking Facebook games with me, don't call up your friends and gang on me because you know they'll be on your side.
Don't say I spread lies when you know half the class (well at least the ones with morals) will act as witnesses against you.

Are you ready to go there? I am.

Pick up that phone and call, so that you can explain yourself.
Oh wait. Yourselves. Bullies always have strength in numbers, right?

So that you can at least redeem a little of the respect that I used to have for you.

Sister!

2009-11-12T20:07:00.004+08:00

'Grats to Emma for actually remembering our anniversary (without any prompting whatsoever). :) Much love (and smacks) to Ash for encouraging the class to sing Happy Birthday. To a relationship. You weirdo. Remind me to never put stuff in your planner again. :p

So, the inevitable must be said: Exams are over. Finito. Which means I'm.. free. Free to plan for Japan. Free to brush up on my ~~non-existent~~ piano sk3311z. Free to stay up all night chatting with my Hippos.

So I've mentioned two out of three good things that happened today.
The third thing is:

JUNE IS AN ARASHI FAN OMGWTFYAY.

I sat beside her in Accounts class. For some reason, we both ended up at the "outcast" (or "exclusive", depending on your point of view lol) table away from the "mainland" table, and we didn't really talk. I just thought, hey, kinda quiet, really smart- like Sue Huey. (LOL.)

But! Also like Sue Huey, she comes with a lot of surprises.

I WAS TALKING TO KIT ABOUT JAPANESE.
AND KIT WAS LIKE "DAMN PRO"
AND I'M LIKE "ME = CRAZY ABOUT JAPAN"
AND JUNE'S LIKE "NOT AS CRAZY AS ME 8D"
AND THEN KAY WAS LIKE "KPOP KPOP 8D"
AND I'M LIKE "YES KPOP 8D AND JPOP TOO"
AND JUNE WAS LIKE "OMG YES"
AND I'M LIKE "DBSK YES"
AND JUNE'S LIKE "BLUEK"
AND I'M LIKE "NUU T.T"
AND KAY'S LIKE "JPOP YES?"
AND I'M LIKE "ARASHI YES"
AND KIT & KAY WERE LIKE "OMG JUNE!!!"
AND JUNE WAS LIKE "YAY BONDS"
AND I'M LIKE "WTF NO WAAAY"
AND WE WERE LIKE "HIGH FIVE YES"

And this is how major friendships are born. 8D

Will be bringing my ARASHI 5X10 ANNIVERSARY TOTE BAG to show her for the next class. If I ever get to see her again. Damn it! I hope I get to.

Ok ok. Japan planning time.
1. Need to organize my piano sheet file. I need someone to print this for me. T_T And bind it. BEST BDAY PREZZIE EVAR.
2. Omg birthday xD next week xD
3. Plan out stuff. Like. What to do in Tokyo ~~apart from stalk Johnny's members~~. How to get to Horikoshi Gakuen? 8DD And, of course, the JFC. :D And, of course, Fuji TV buildings. Johnny's Jimusho buildings. Raiding every idol shop that comes our way. And stuff like that. ;)
4. Omg! Must find map to Ebisu Garden. I want to see "the Hana Yori Dango" place in winter plskthx. ♥
5. Tokyo Disneyland?
6. Money. Must bring own.
7. Figure out how much stuff I actually need to buy ~~apart from the magazines, phone straps, keychains, shop photos, brochures...~~
8. Uh. Okay. That should be it for tonight. :D

I was just wondering where my other half was when I forgot that I told him I'd be on at 9.30. Sorry b, turns out my mom felt it was inconvenient to go take my Visa picture tonight. :( So we just had dinner. At Nando's. As we tend to do after Accounts, heh.

♥
EXAMS ARE OVER.

O hai Arashi brothers :D

2009-11-10T15:43:00.002+08:00

OMG WTF YOU GUYS JUST REALIZED THAT MY LIVING ROOM HAS THE SAME CHAIRS AS THE ONES IN THE VIDEO. WHICH THEY SAT ON. THEY SAT ON MY CHAIRS A;FDLKASJ;DFKAJSF;AKSDF;ASD

AND WTF WATCHING THE MAKING NOW SO MANY OHMIYA MOMENTS I LOVE I LOVE YAAAY

xD *cough* Anyhoo. Without further ado.

With karaoke. :D
Exams suck.
But Allkpop rocks.
Why?

Because Jay could be coming back.
(OMG JYP YOU WOULD BE SO PROVING YOU'RE BETTER THAN SM.)
And I'll be ready to be an Official Hottest.
♥

__

SM's still being. hard-headed.
Hero, Micky & Xiah - where are you?
Don't do this to the fans you gaiz D:

__

So conflicted.
X

Less than 2 days... :)

Heart failure!

2009-11-08T09:31:00.002+08:00

Arashi.
New PV.
My Girl.
Arashi, as BROTHERS.
Moving house.
Together.
Arashi.
Having the same mother.
Arashi.
Having mini time-capsule moments.
Arashi.
Missing someone?
Nino.
NINO.
Ohno.
Ohmiya.
Jun.
HAIR.

...
I have no words left >___________<
It's on Arashi_On.
Some people got this bloody Korean F5 error.
BUT LIFE LOVES ME TODAY, SO.
Sucks to be you.
*woooheeehooo*

Too much.

2009-11-07T19:02:00.003+08:00

Over-saturated with feelings, as usual.

Uncle Richard's house-warming party lies on the agenda for tonight- here we go, the glammed up stilettos with the feather-light kisses on the cheek; the lingering scent of money; the discussions about the latest expensive fashionable thing to buy, my mom looking half-heartedly amused, my dad glued to his iPhone, me, well, I absorb and wish I was as skinny as their daughters, all brilliant flashing white teeth and perfectly shaped eyebrows.

I'll probably get in trouble for this later. I accept!
Freedom of speech: it's more than just another nilai in Pendidikan Moral.
X

Brief candle.

2009-11-07T13:05:00.001+08:00

I'm feeling pretty cruddy.
Despite my satisfaction with my new layout.
Coded in 3 hours, luls.
I am losing my touch.
I don't know if you can tell,
but my thoughts are in monotone.

Nothing feels as pure anymore.

Anyway. Hope everyone enjoys my blog.
Those links took a long time to compile, so, yeah.

Hey now.

2009-11-06T22:41:00.006+08:00

Shiva Narrthine,
best friend of ten years (and counting),
classroom rival for most of those ten years,
constant source of inspiration, humour and strength.
She turns sixteen, today.

Happy birthday darling. :)

*

( Full post . )

1:59pm dropped another single.
Ash was right, it's all autotune.
~~Subtle hinting that they feel something's missing too?~~

Lame point of the day:-
Random 4 Martian: Hey what time is it now ah?
Alia: *starts doing the robot* IT'S - TWO - P - M

AHAHAHHAHA
Whatafak.
Fazlan is infecting me.
Don't know how many times I said "Wasaaaa.bi." today.
Kyuh.

Three years in a week. Frick we're old. x)
Coding now, brbz.

keeping the faith.

2009-11-04T15:26:00.007+08:00

Official Statement from Cassiopeia.

We 800,000 Cassiopeians would like to announce our official view in this statement. With accusations and allegations flying everywhere, we announce this in order to show the fanclub's official standing on this matter. This statement is made by union of numerous DBSK fan cafes and we present this in the name of Cassiopeia.

First of all, we would like to say that, as fans of DBSK, we support DBSK and will not do anything to betray their trust in us. We will not trust anything besides words that come out of the DBSK members' mouths, and we ask SME to stop actions that are intended to confuse and divide the fans.

We Cassiopeians are very disappointed in SME for holding press conference and releasing signed documents in the name of Yunho and Changmin. As the management company of DBSK, SME must not forget their job and must stop their actions intended to defame the members of DBSK and break the group apart. Also, according the the court ruling made on the 27th, SME must not make deals with third parties in the name of the three members and cannot interfere with individual works or those members. Please keep the court's order.

To everyone who is reading this statement, please remember: the members did not take legal actions because of the issues regarding the cosmetics business. They started this lawsuit because of illegal contract length of 13 years. We fans do not understand why SME is silent about the issue of the contract length and is trying to focus everyone's attention on the cosmetics fiasco. The goal of this lawsuit was to nullify or edit contract between SME and the three members, and we believe that they did not intend to end DBSK or move onto another management company. Also, we would like to address to reporters who sensationalize and create rumours related to this press conference. Please be careful with your sources.

We would like to ask SME one more time to not make the three members' reputation and rights suffer with claims that have never been proven, and we would like to ask the citizens of Korea to stop creating rumours and defame DBSK. We would like to show our condolences toward this controversy.

As Cassiopeians, the fans of DBSK, we will keep our attention focused to the future actions of DBSK and SME. We will continue to side with DBSK. DBSK and fans never doubt.

-- November 2nd, 2009, Cassiopeia, the fanclub of DBSK

Just read Cassiopeia's statement.
The direct legal statement from the cosmetics company.

SM Entertainment... What are you hiding?
There seems to be no word from Hero, Xiah and/or Micky.

I'm pretty confused right now.
But whatever it is,
I stand by what I said in my previous post-
DBSK is 5. Not 2, not 3.
I'll have them all, or none.
I'm sure Cassiopeia (all 800,000 of us) prefers it that way too.

I'm still a Cassie.
& I will keep the faith. ♥

* Oh and screw you to the supposedly "legal superior" ones on Allkpop. You don't know a single fuck's worth about DBSK, so please stop criticizing them.

* I'm still pretty disappointed with Hero. But I'll survive.

Final stand.

2009-11-04T15:18:00.001+08:00

...
Eh weird.
Biology tomorrow.
Note to self- don't break down, again.

I thought about it today, and have decided that whatever it is, I support DBSK. Not Yunho/ChangMin, not JeJung/YuChun/Junsu. I support all 5.

That is my final stand.
YES. <3

sorry for the emo.

2009-11-03T16:38:00.003+08:00

So much for hiatus.
I swear to God, I'll sue Allkpop if I fail anything this time 'round.
20 mins, just 20 mins.

At least this is out. ♥
Some fans have been speculating that Jay's voice is in there somewhere.
Tough for me, I'm still new at being a Hottest so I can't really tell their voices apart yet.

(It's hard to believe that a few months ago I used to think telling Arashi apart was impossible.)

Yay for Arashi Week going by without any ~~injuries because those boys be SO CRAZY THEY DO THINGS LIKE WALK UPSIDE-DOWN AND SING ON FLYING STAGES WHY BOYS WHY~~ 'glitches'. Also, Arashi blowing a birthday cake and singing happy birthday for "dear Arashi" in English = the most adorable thing evarr.

Did I ever tell you Tenjo is a life-saver? She is.
I was just about to give up being a fan-girl for anything.

*

The Japanese fan-club members got something in the mail today.
It's official.
Johnny's.
Merchandise.
And they got it just for being in the fan-club.
:(

*

Sejarah and Add Maths. Whoop..

fuck it all fuck it all

2009-11-02T22:49:00.003+08:00

Not chemistry this time.

Allkpop, screw you
SME, screw you
DBSK... how could you motherfuckers do this to the fans.

There better be a good explanation for all this.
My psyche is so fucked up right now.
I'm going to go saturate myself in nerdism.
You know why?

Because the fan-girl in me feels like she's been motherfucking run over by a motherfucking truck.

I'm so.
Disappointed is not even the word for it.
Heartbreak is not even the word for it.
Angry. Hell fucking yes I'm angry.
At the three members, at the fathers, at SME.
Wtf is up with SHINee's sudden statement?
It sounds like brainwash.
It sounds like we've been conned.
It sounds like SME's been conned.
It sounds like my first Kpop love is a fraud.

I don't want to be a bad fan.
I want to say, "Keep the faith".
I want to believe in them.
But.
How?
DBSK is 5, not 3. Not 2.
How could they be so stupid?

And the risk of sounding like a conspiracy theorist......
Well. You know what.
Article 1
Article 2
Mother of all motherfucking articles, Article 3
Fresh from Korea; read 'em yourselves.
It all sounds fucking suspicious to me.

I'm out.
*goes to dunk head in cold water*

1:59 p.m.

2009-10-31T00:02:00.008+08:00

Snuck online, because excessive reading of Chemistry will damage your soul.

Here's something amazing- even without the Internet, I have officially become a Hottest. :3 And, to be specific, a 7-member 2PM. Which means, yes, I'm about to join this crazy band-wagon called "GET JAE BOOM BACK OR DIE TRYING". After the 12th, of course. 2PMMMMMMM.

* Speak of the devil, guess who got 94 for Accounts? :D ♥

Anyway. Have some HOTTEST TIME OF THE DAY.
(Though of course, Arashi will always be my first time of the day; DBSK will be the sweetest time of the day; HSJ will be the cutest time of the day; etc etc etc. It's good to diversify your fandoms! *thinks of Bio, is a nerd*)

The Time Stop Flash Mob: Brazil.

The Time Stop Flash Mob: Korea.

The Time Stop Flash Mob: Boston.

The Time Stop Flash Mob: Malaysia.

The Time Stop Flash Mob: France.

The Time Stop Flash Mob: New York City.

The Time Stop Flash Mob: Singapore.

The Time Stop Flash Mob: Germany.

& There's more, but I think I've made my point.
All for what purpose, you might ask?

To get Jay back.
Because without you, it'll always be 1:59.
:(

*

Holy shit it's fate! Hi 100th post (on my 20th blog but whatever, lol).

So there I was like a good little Martian, slaving away at my perpendiculars and parallels, gradients, equations of the straight lines. And then a thought came to me- "I wonder what happened to the DBSK International Fan-song Project?"

So back to the laptop I went, and I watched, and then I clicked on the actual clip where the Thailand audience sang "Don't Say Good-bye" after DBSK's last concert together.

I could have survived that, by itself. I really think I could've. But what killed me was the person that was filming this was crying. Like, she was sobbing her eyes out while she was singing. And.. now. I have tissue in my hands, and puffs under my eyes. My mind is just a blurry whirlwind of red, lawsuits, music, togetherness, the world and how small it is, how someone from Iceland, Thailand, Malaysia, Peru, New York, Mexico, Maui can all love 5 20-something guys from Korea and Japan. This is where you cross the line- from musicians to idols, from mere artists that give you concerts and albums to real people. Who give you happiness.

Always Keep The Faith.

*

It's times like this I feel bad that Arashi gets their own week on television. Yes, NTV declared an entire week dedicated to at least 5 hours of Arashi every day. They're at the top of their game.

And then you have DBSK, with the lawsuits. (I'm keeping myself updated via Wye Zhi, God she is fabulous.)
And then you have Super Junior, with their stupid car accidents.
And then you have ~~2 PM~~ 1:59PM.

And I'm just like. Why can't I have them all? Why can't they all be successful and happy all the time?! And then it hits you. They're human beings too. And you start to care about them even more.
♥ ♥

hey boy (and hippos) (and readers)

2009-10-22T19:52:00.002+08:00

There's this thing, tapping on my shoulder.
He is holding a sign that says Please don't ignore my existence anymore.
I think his name is The Last Secondary School Finals I Will Ever Sit For.

See you after 3 weeks, kay! ♥

a message for anne frank.

2009-10-18T17:44:00.002+08:00

My eyes are all red and puffy. Just finished Anne. And. I was fine, right until the words Anne's diary ends here. Then I turned the page.
Anne died in a concentration camp, a few months short of her sixteenth birthday. Three days after her sister, Margot died of the typhus epidemic that killed thousands of Jews in the camps due to the fucked up hygiene. Mr Van Daan was gassed to death. Peter died... three days before his camp was liberated. That added an extra half an hour to my tears. If only he'd survived a little longer, I kept thinking. Anne's mother died of starvation and exhaustion. They were all seperated. Why is the world so cold? Why does it still turn when the entire universe of this teenage girl disintegrated? Her entire being? I can't go on anymore.
I'm changed.
Anne... As a Muslim, I can't say I wish your soul is in heaven now. But as a person, as a girl who is your age when you died, as a human being, and as someone who has explored your inner mind for the past few nights, I hope that at least you found salvation for yourself before you succumbed to your cold death. I hope that your pain after your last entry was not as excruciating as I imagine, that you did not die alone, and I hope that in the future, if ever our souls meet... that you will be my friend. You have taught me many things about life, love, and self-esteem; someday, I hope to return the favour.

of much-needed hippoisms.

2009-10-16T22:55:00.002+08:00

Life is good, right now. It's a long weekend, I have no tuition tomorrow, I just wrapped up 6 consecutive hours of pure (unfiltered) HIPPO ♥ followed by Physics and Chemistry tuition where I was actually following every word that teacher said (usually by the last stretch of Chemistry, which finishes at 10.30, I'm already dozing off); I have an ice blended by my side, with some toasted chicken sandwiches; and last, but is rather the cherry to the icing, Youtube's being kind to me tonight- as proven by the phenomenal speed with which Sensei wa Erai parts 3, 4 and 5 are loading. Have I ever told you how important it is to have friends? :) Friends that you can rely on even though you dropped off their radar with no explanation whatsoever for 7 months, friends you can click with instantly eventhough you've no idea what's been going on. Yum. My mind feels like honey, warm and contented; sugary sweet icing on little cupcakes of little happy moments that occurred today. Lemons, my happiness tastes like lemons. Or maybe red velvet, even though I've never tasted that. :) Oh, and people who are sore losers when it comes to things like quarterly reports should go for therapy and get some friends. FYI.

of the longest Thursday, ever.

2009-10-16T00:26:00.003+08:00

I'd already been dreading the day since the minute I fell asleep last night. I slept with Anne in my arms, like how I've been doing for the past few nights. I don't understand, it's not that thick a book- I've finished way thicker in less than 24 hours. But for some reason, at one point after fifty pages or so I just put Anne down and say, "That's enough for today". I've never done this before. It's new, and it's scary. You know what else is scary? The fact that I'm on a first-name basis with a book. And that I talk to it, and I pray for Anne's soul. This is worse, so much worse than The Book Thief. :( Anyway. Today was a long Thursday because- school finishes 10 minutes later than usual on this particularly horrendous day of the week, which means we have six subjects instead of five. Don't ask me how that works. And I'd promised myself I would stay in class the whole day. (I didn't keep that promise, but it wasn't my fault I swear.) It was also a long day because my car came a bit late, and so I had to rush through my homework, and picking out an outfit for the PRS dinner, and looking for my god-damned accessories (that I ended up not wearing! Ugh), and consequently there was no time for my usual required nap before Accounts. Pain in the ass, 3 hours of Accounts. Today was crowded; with people and exercises. Damn the fact that we've finished the syllabus! Now it's "revision" mode, and instead of being expected to remember what we learned last week, we are now expected to remember (teacher's word was "by-heart") every single thing we've learned this year. It is a painful time indeed, and let's all say more than a good half of the barrel of sweets was gone by the end of the class. It felt like we just ran a marathon. With numbers. So anyway, went with Syazana and Faiz to PRS Dinner. Felt under-dressed at first. Skipped out on the official ceremonies with Sarah to look at the pet shop, and other interesting things. Why? Because that's how we roll. B) No offence, Daniel. Haha. Walked, talked, and let's just say by the end of the evening all the stress and "long"-ness of the day had been drained out, leaving behind only.. smiles. And ridiculous topics of conversation. What would I do without him? Permit me to be a teenager, but I must say I'd die. Or I'd be in a figurative form of death anyway. Somewhere in there, Syazana treated me to a drink from Secret Recipe. We sat by the playground. I got frustrated like I've never gotten frustrated before. Some of the "long"-ness came back. At ten, left the complex and lepaked at Sarah's place. I had a stare-off with Theodore the tiger-lookin' cat. I swear to God, Sarah, just make that cat your boyfriend. It/he is awesome enough. :) What else, what else? It is 12:40 in the morning now, and officially Friday. No-school Friday. I'm stalking the blogs of Japanese child-stars. Who are all female. It's interesting how they one minute they have a world of adoring fans in their comments, and the minute a rumour comes up about them and certain JE school-boys being together these same fans are TR0LL$. Like, to the max. Speaking of trolls, have you guys checked this out? Bad grammar, vocabulary is all too wide in a bad way, but on the whole rather entertaining. Unless you be talking about my friends. Then my hacking skills will be coming in handy. Hear that, Gedik? :) I got my eyes on you. Watch your mouth.

edit:

... Oh. I am so inferior.
I shall go crawl in a hole somewhere now.
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL VERSION OF ARASHI'S 'MY GIRL' EVER.
:(
It's making me.. sad..

of birthdays (literally) and things.

2009-10-14T20:30:00.003+08:00

Many significant things happened yesterday, which tired me out, explaining the lack of bloggage (hah). One of which was the ending of PMR. Whoop. We -what 22 prefects we had, along with the discipline teachers and any other teachers within possession of a rotan- proceeded to shoo (for I have no better word) the ~~spawn of the satan~~ ~~escaped monkeys~~ ~~future convicts~~ Form 3 students in a one-way flow of traffic towards the assembly area, where we had the spotcheck from hell. It was so hot, and their faces were so BITCH, and most of their bags were so disgusting to check. Like, one had cookie crumbs in the pocket. Of three different kinds of cookies. Another had like stale sushi or something. Wtf, man? Yan said once, she spotchecked a Form 3 bag and as she opened the zip something flew out. LMAO. But anyway. It was a success, despite some people taking it into their heads that we didn't already have a plan and so they made their own bloody plans, which consequently screwed up our working mechanism for a bit. But that was settled well enough, so after everyone collapsed in the prefect room (I TELL YOU IT FELT LIKE THE SUN WAS MERE INCHES ABOVE OUR HEADS), the entire day the whole lot of us were like "Hey you!" "Hey what! "Do you hear that!" "Nope!" "EXACTLY!" Hehe. Silence is golden. But anyway. RPA work's a bietch too, but handle-able. Nothing else has been going on. Tomorrow, PRS Dinner. It's the last dinner of the year, thank god. x) Gotta start cracking on those books. Byes~!
ps: Sonia turned sixteen yesterday. ♥
pss: Melissa turned sixeen today. ♥

psss: My second brother, Zaki is now the proud father of two children. The newest addition is a boy named Ahmad Izlan, who was born at 2:22pm this afternoon. I got to know at about 3:05. He's real new. Haha. Congratulations, Abg Zaki + Kak Lin!

feeling awesome.

2009-10-12T02:26:00.003+08:00

No. Well. That was a lie. My foot was swollen since yesterday afternoon, after a jolly blonde moment at BSC where I tripped over my sandal slings and smashed my toesies into the really hard, REALLY sharp corner of the pavement edge. So it swelled, but I laughed it off and anyway, I got used to the limping. Then today, just before I got myself to Nadia's awesome (I'm abusing this word today!) house near Tropicana, I actually noticed that my left foot was fatter than my right foot. My observational skills will be the death of me, I know, but there you have it. After we finally dragged ourselves away from Nadia's home, my mom called up for an appointment with Dr Jo. He prodded my fat foot, and said three important things: 1. Not broken. 2. Not fractured. 3. Don't walk, stay at home tomorrow. So, what. I'm missing school on a very important date. :( Today's the twelfth, people! But it's next month's twelfth that is... significant. Very, very significant. \ Anyway. I went home and took meds (meds meds meds. It's been nothing but meds for the past few days). Got an icepack and indulged myself in CSI and texting. Made a very special call, hee, and stalked Horikoshi for 30 minutes or so before resigning myself to just a few Youtube updates before heading for bed. And what did I find?

This. HSJ & Arashi mixed up yummily together for School Kakumei. Went on Japan 20 hours ago, and it's already motherfreakin' uploaded on Youtube. Ready to be found by unsuspecting me. :D Lucky! *YamaTarou smile*

And also this. What is this? This is YamaChii (I swear to God, the new OhMiya, for reasons I will point out later) on Shounen Club Premium. So yum. SO. YUM. I can't even tell you how new this is. This is so new.... that the next part hasn't even finished being uploaded yet. :D
So if you notice in the first video, Chinen is always synced with Ohno, and for some strange reason (strange because I always thought Yama-chan was a DOS like our dearest MatsuJun) Yamada's always linked to Ninomiya. Dakara ne, it's meant to be- YamaChii IS the new OhMiya. You'll see. :P
Proper anniversary post later. ♥

wasn't she pregnant?

2009-10-11T15:48:00.005+08:00

I just realized that American teenager-talk only annoys me when they're not talking about Naruto, Arashi, DBSK, and other such beautiful topics. Otherwise I start getting my Pft face on. I had Burger King today, and watched 9, and flailed a little bit over Elijah Wood. So proud of myself. You know why? Because Elijah Wood is white, my friends. Which means my drowning in Asian guys is finally about to come to an end! I am on the road to recovery and rehabilitation! (nosebleeds at AneCan November 2009)... or not. Haha. I thought Zoey 101 was pregnant. I mean, the main character. But it's showing now. :/ Way to go, Nickelodeon. I'm slowly, slowly falling for Stand By You as a result of constantly visiting Nana's blog. :) I want this to be my wedding song. Is that okay? Probably not. I am still pretty pissed off at Channel [V] for showing Utada Hikaru's (no offence kay, I love her music but!) Video[scope] after posting on their bloody website that Arashi's up on 10th October. ~~I almost wept tears of frustration~~ Well no, I didn't, but I screamed some into the pillows. Cruel, cruel Channel [V]. ♥ Am only online now to design Nana's poster thing, and look for some nonsense to spout out for "public speaking" in BM tomorrow. Last-minute preparations are what my generation's known for, I'm just following the flow. Japanese today was so funnnnnnnnny. I won't bother explaining why, because everything looks weird in Romaji. I just know that I love my sensei! :D Ooutt.

ps: Big Bro Arif turns 30 today. Damn. :P

+ Happy belated Birthday Naruto dear. :') <3

... Flailing? Who's flailing? xD

of many important things.

2009-10-10T16:46:00.003+08:00

Not withstanding that tonight is Arashi Video[scope] night, I also found out today that I was one of the lucky few that managed to score a High Distinction for that Australian English test thing. Well, few for our grade anyway. Nerd Mode: ON. Apart from that, bought two new books- one a gamble, the other a secret fear. The gamble, I've already forgotten what it's called, but it's off the classic shelf and I've always been attracted to Western authors' perspectives on Malaya anyway. What makes it even safer is, it's a collection of short stories as opposed to one whole novel. Sidetracked* Little Dorrit, my god that was a boring novel. I could have compressed the whole thing into a neat little 300-page piece but NO, that dear sir whose name shall not be mentioned had to drag it out into a book that probably weighed as much as a newborn baby. (Honestly though, when I read it I was still at an age where I thought Mary-Kate and Ashley were cool, so... Don't trust my judgment on this. Read Little Dorrit if you want.) Anyway. The other book, the secret fear, is The Diary of A Young Girl by Anne Frank. I bought the Definitive Edition because the Critical Edition was not to be found anywhere. I guess I should explain a little why this is a 'secret' fear, right? Well, to begin with, it's only a secret because I didn't tell anyone. Mostly because nobody asked, but, yes. Still a secret. And it's a fear because if anyone's ever affected by fictional tragedies, I am, and this is real. Anne Frank was a living, breathing, human girl who died three months short of her sixteenth birthday in a concentration camp. Her diary starts with a birthday party- it closes with jam-making (I peeked). And then comes a brief, factual note from the editor- "Anne Frank's diary ends here." Because her whole family was arrested three days after that last, stupid, jam-making entry. 72 hours. In 72 hours, she went from jam to Nazi hell. How do you read that objectively? How do you put down this book and not feel all the heavier for it? Like you can feel the chains that bound her freedom on your heart, a little piece of her anguish latched on to you. Well, at least, that's how I thought about it -have been, thinking about it... until today. When I decided I should just face up to my fears, and for God's sake, it is known to be a brilliantly written book, and a damn good story too. So why not, right? Why not..... I also finished The Book Thief today, rather sleepily. The boy with the lemon hair, I wish he didn't have to die the way he did (no spoilers, for I feel like lending this book to someone). I cried for Dumbledore, I wrote a tribute for Kwan from the 1000 Secret Senses (by Amy Tan), but for the boy with the lemon hair... I had nightmares for him; real, genuine, Nazi nightmares in which he cries for that too-late kiss from his glorious Saumensch. Which explains why I'm up now, staring at this fierce white unforgiving screen instead of taking my required Saturday afternoon nap. I'm rambling too much. Must be the books. I've only gotten to fifty or so pages of Anne Frank, and already I feel the impending tragedy weighing me down. It's like watching someone walk towards a guillotine. Maybe I'll just go help myself to more kuih raya... Think about birds... happy things... rainbows...

okay, what.

2009-10-10T02:56:00.005+08:00

I tried to sleep. But all thoughts of slumber are gone as I read this.

On October 10th, Arashi will be at will be featured in an hour long program called, Videoscope on Channel V at 8pm[HKT] this Saturday. Video[Scope] is a one-hour program that opens the video vaults and chronicles the careers of some of the biggest names in Pop. Follow your favourite act as we take a look back at their musical journey, from their first music video to their most recent hits.
Arashi
(Repeat: 11 October 5pm HKT, 15 October 10pm HKT, 17 October 3am HKT)
*This means 9pm Malaysia kay? xD
Get ready for some special episodes full of your favourite artists in Videoscope all this month!
10 October

AJ;DSLFKAJS;DLFAJSD;LFKAJSD;LFKAJSD;LFKAJS;DLFKJAS;DKFADF
A;DSLKFJA;SDLKFAJ;SDKFAJSLDKFJA;DLSKFJA;LDKFJA;LDSKFJA;LKDFJA;DS
OH AND WHY IS NOBODY BLOGGING ABOUT ARASHI'S NEW SINGLE? >:(
SO DISAPPOINTED IN ALL OF US. CAN'T WAIT FOR FULL SONG, SINCE WE NOW ONLY HAVE HQ 2:50 PREVIEWS. AIBA, SO PRETTY AND AWESOME IN WHAT I CAN SEE. THERE ARE FANVIDS OUT ALREADY. WHY WHY WHY DO WE LIVE IN MALAYSIA. I WANT TO WATCH HIDARI ME TANTEI SO BADLY. I SHOULD STOP TYPING IN CAPSLOCK. AND FLAILING. BECAUSE SOMEONE DOESN'T LIKE THAT. BUT I CAN'T. YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE ARASHI'S ON F*CKING VIDEOSCOPE.
AND I WILL WATCH DBSK ON F*CKING VIDEOSCOPE AS WELL.
(*quietly whispers: Beat that, Suju.*)
(*gets bricked by: Sue Yin, Leanne, and about forty-five million other people*)

ADKFAOSDF;AKDFASDFKA;SJDF

OMG I JUST CHECKED THE CHANNEL [V] WEBSITE.
APPARENTLY REPEATS ARE ON AT
Saturdays 8pm HKT
Sundays 5pm HKT
Thursdays 10pm HKT
Fridays 4am & 11.30am HKT
Saturdays 3am HKT

IT'S SATURDAY.
THREE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING.
IT'S SATURDAY.

ps: Then I remembered that we have to +1 hour. :( LOL.
So now I'm watching it reeeally reeeally quietly. :p
Haha.
I'm a freak. Right? I'm a freak.
BUT THIS IS MY LAST FREAKING CHANCE TO SEE DBSK PUNYA VIDEOSCOPE KAY.
DON'T JUDGE ME.

I'd call nana but I takut nanti she.. er.. pancung me xD
Anyway. I love all of you. mwah.

brbz catching up with hippos.

2009-10-10T00:56:00.002+08:00

After messing with my Twitter, my Hippos contacted me.
So.
I am filled to the brim with unearthly joy.
Yes.
I am becoming a reader again. I love it.
Many thanks to (in order of appearance... I think):
Aisyah, Maisarah, Keefe, Nadhil, Alysha, Faiz, Ash Li, Ashraf, Imran, Hao Sern, Daniel, Imran, Aniq, Amirul, Hawa, Ida, Sarah Elise, Sook Yan, Shiva N, Shiva R, HOWIE.

And. Was that it? I think so. I thought there were 21 though.
Anyway. Many thanks to you (and your weird but funny choice of scary movies to watch) for making this openhouse a most memorable one. :)

I'm pretty much out of words, breath and laughter. ♥ I've got plenty of love though. Love that I currently have to share with my Hippos... so. Like. Peace out.

of dreamy situations.

2009-10-09T12:43:00.003+08:00

At about 2300 last night, my temperature went... crazy. I thought I'd sleep it off, but a few hours later (at almost 2-ish?) I found myself in the car, heading for Damansara Specialist. The doctor prodded my stomach, and I remember her fingers were very cold. There was a drip involved. Actually, two. The bed was freezing and the pillows stiff; I remember, my dad drove all the way from PD. He was falling asleep on his feet. My brother nabbed blankets from the other vacant beds for me. Close to dawn, I was in the car again. Needles, more needles, a Panadol. One hot cup of tea, because I still can't take Milo, and I remember scarfing down 5 Milano cookies because I vomited out my lasagne from last night. Next thing I know, it's 37 degrees and 8.20 in the morning. Another day of no school. Spent the following hours amusing myself with Numb3rs, assorted Chinese dramas, and a whole lot of Channel [V]. Why don't any of you freaks bring your phones to school anymore? I will be pouting lots, tonight. I'd have thought the whole 2a.m. fiasco was a dream, but until now there's a little piece of gauze taped to my hand. It kind of stings. And I still have Accounts. How low can life get? Finishing The Book Thief tonight. It always grabs me, novels that are narrated by Death. I've read three or four. My mind has ceased to observe sentence connectors. Or even thought connectors. I'm just typing them out as they come. It's 1250, the tent people have finished setting up. Remember, my dear guests, please show up after 7.30. Thanks. I love all of you.

I miss you.

2009-10-08T19:54:00.003+08:00

Didn't go to school because the stomach flu virus finally hit me after taking my mom, my brother and his family... I don't take enough vitamins after all. Lol. I even skipped Accounts! Which means I have to go to class tomorrow from 4.30 to 7.30. Yes, I know, how absolutely retarded when I told everyone my open-house will start at 6.30. ATTENTION TO EVERYONE WHO'S COMING: Please come after 7.45. :D Thank you, heh. ^^; Next point is; I'm in hellll. Didn't eat anything but porridge and a banana today. Have to avoid dairy foods, and that includes all my comfort stuff, i.e. cereal, cookies dipped in milk, Milo... So I'm pretty much bummed out. Also, is this my third consecutive week of missing Bio on Thursdays or what? :( Will try to make it to school tomorrow. The only thing keeping me alive (because staring at the laptop screen for too long makes my eyes go fuzzy) is those god-damn magazines. Did I tell you I finally had the strength of heart to tear out the posters? ♥ I need to raid Kinokuniya again soon though. Find more ~~Yamada~~ ~~Kazunari~~ informational, educational, and useful magazines. Missing you, you know who you are. Shiva, I'm truly sorry for leaving you all alone in class. What happened to Yan? Good night. Loves.

my first spammer!

2009-10-07T20:06:00.003+08:00

:O Spammer on my guestbook!

LOL.

Everyone's here now, so, like, whatever spammer. Despite the rock-throwing and the perpetual stress, my life is still better than yours. :) Whee.

And if it's anything to go by, why don't you go to school next time?

*

I wish I was more upset about this. You know something's wrong when you're more affected by rumours that your favourite boyband is disbanding than a real live spammer on your blog. Tch.

Maybe my life is sadder than I thought. Crap! Spammer has a point!

Now why don't I go love my gay boyfriend Fazlan indeed. :)

*

Oh, this is my first spammer because I found his/her identity soon after the incident. (Bad mems, omgsh.)

of love, rocks and drama.

2009-10-06T18:07:00.002+08:00

"Here."
"What."
"Take my watch."
"Okay."
"It's so I have an excuse to see you later."

Warm and fuzzy feelings aside, someone threw a rock at me today. I refuse to use the word stone or pebble, it was a motherfucking rock. I'm more sad than angry. But to be honest, was not expecting 80% of Form 4 boys to come to my 'rescue'. Thank you everybodayyy~. Saya sayang kamu semua.

Life is o-kay.

VOTE FOR ARASHI.

I've been voting with different accounts for a few days now. Am I a bad person? Hehe. Sorry SuJu, the 10 years just makes a difference. ♥

of dinners and wax.

2009-10-04T22:25:00.002+08:00

Dinner was phenomenal. Once again, I maintained my reputation of being the only girl in traditional costume. *peace sign* The Form 5s left early, haha, so a tiny bunch of us Form 4s were having the time of our lives up front on the open dance floor. Hey what, we worked hard okay, we deserved it. :) The food was lovely, the candy was flowing (lol), and the music was ASFASDFASDF awesome. 'Gratz to Wen-wen and Melor, you guys did a great job handling it all. *blows kisses*

Today? FAIZ'S BIRTHDAY! And he did break many kinds of virginities today. For instance,
- His first ever birthday cake (I kid you not.)
- His first ever attempt on a bicycle. And failing quite funnily at it too.

There were others but I might be beheaded for putting them up online. ^^;

We celebrated by hanging out at the Damansara Community Carnival, walking our way to lunch at Secret Recipe, and walking leisurely back with Jack's bicycle in tow. We also did our fair share of ~~vandalism~~ damaging property that was already damaged, and, well, terrorizing the neighborhood. :DD Once back, everyone somehow.. dispersed, save Mel, Kyra, Hawa, Melissa and myself. We chilled, chilled some more, watched little kids stuffing themselves with hot dogs, aaaand I went back.

Now, it's English essay time.
Whoop.

horikoshi.

2009-10-03T14:57:00.002+08:00

Hommagoddd. It's 5 hours away from dinner, just had a quick browse through my (one and only) Wink Up issue because I remembered there was one section (actually three) that featured Hey Say Jump. Well, members from it anyway. Hey Say Jump had one section, NYC Boys had one... and... something else. Can't remember what. But Yamada was there. :)

EDIT:-
It's an hour and a half to dinner, just got back from decorating at the club. So much candy stuff, it's amazing, haha. Hopefully everyone will have an enjoyable time tonight. -.-' I will be wearing (surprise) a kebaya. I think Fazlan will remember which one... Haha. It has a special meaning, somewhat.

Who wants to attend Horikoshi Gakuen?
I do, I do. :DD

it's true.

2009-10-03T01:17:00.004+08:00

They are. They so are. They are... growing on me. :( Curses headed to Qissay!
But YamaChii is just so adorable. Must watch Scrap Teacher before the Finals rush kick in. And anyway. I guess it's good to have a band I can support for a good while longer than Arashi. Not to say that I'm predicting Arashi will fade in a few years or anything, it's just that, well, I've always wanted to support something from the very beginning, like all the beloved senpais who have loved our rainbow boys (hah) since 1999. I guess, since I am a Heisei, I should also support people from my era right? And 2 years along the road is still quite early to jump on, so, yay. I'm on the HSJ train! ♥

(OMGWTF DID I JUST SAY THAT SOMEONE KILL ME NAO.)

EDIT:-

OMG CHINEN-KUN. BIKKURISHITAAAA.

Uh. *stops breathing* I NEED TO WATCH THIS DRAMA FCKITALLLLL. (Oh, and in case you're stupid, those weren't real subs and they're not gays. Well, not yet. Johnny's entertainers... gotta start from somewhere, right...)

freshness.

2009-10-03T00:50:00.004+08:00

Tomorrow's Editorial Board Dinner, so as a result today was chaotic. Puan Liew bought us cakes for being such Oscar-winning angels yesterday. ;) I'm caught in Interact stuff. And there's a new layout. It took me about 90 minutes- damn I'm losing my touch (who said I had one, rawr). The header, if you remember, is from the coloring of Chapter 187, page 17 of D.Gray Man that I made a few days ago when I was feeling miserable. I can put bigger videos on this one, so YAY! :) Now the only thing is, I'll have to put up with all the many inconveniences of a Classic Template. :( I could have sussed my way to do this one with Beta, but even geekoids like me need to sleep before a day filled with tuition, decorating and DINNER. Did I mention, I don't even know what I'm going to wear? ♥ Last-minute planning. Always the best.

ps: I totally apologize for Allen's coloring. I only managed to do Kanda with exact precision. The rest was all fun with the mouse. Sorreh. ^^;

pps: As expected, I miss the autoplaying music. Aih.

this is why.

2009-10-01T02:43:00.003+08:00

Because while Americans are out there traumatizing 80% of the free and independent world, Asians are here to make campaign songs that promote laughter in times of economic duress. And still look mighty fine doing it.

(Let us not mention the fact that Asians do pwn at economy as well. So maybe we do have something to laugh about? I'm outta my league here.)

One of those crazy nights where I'm jumping from one university site to another. Keio, oh my god, Keio. LSE is still my stable choice, though now my third brother's swaying me to Nottingham because
a) collectively, our family has spent WAAAYYY too much time in London
b) I would pretty much die of boredom in So'ton

Why am I talking about this?
And why, Sho, is your cute!fail just tempting tempting TEMPTING me to inform my dad that I suddenly want to further my studies in Japan?! *kicks Sho's poster away* STOP IT, YOU. STOP IT. STOP IT. STOP PUTTING IN RANDOM ILLUSIONS THAT I HAVE A CHANCE OF MEETING YOU IN THE UNIVERSITY HALLWAYS AND WE START TALKING ABOUT ECONOMICS TOGETHER.

STOP IT, I TELL YOU.
Aih.
Nana stop him.
He's not listening to me. D:

(Aren't we all absolutely glad -or disappointed..- that Kazu-chan didn't make it to uni? xD)

___

Yamada Ryosuke.
Must.
Watch.
His.
Drama.
+ school uniform,
- hair spray?
KANPEKI DESHOU 8D

It's coming out 3rd October. Wonder when soju will have that ready for subbing.

didn't go to school today.

2009-09-30T11:53:00.001+08:00

Those boys. Are.
So.
Weird.

*

Will study now.

where life is beautiful.

2009-09-29T23:01:00.002+08:00

Just got back from Ida's open-house. Her Pembroke friends were there. Amy sings so good, I felt uncomfortable talking while she was singing even though she wasn't exactly performing to us. I'm pretty much beat and run out of adjectives to describe my day. I feel like there were two people in me today- I think they call that bi-polar? Or split personality. One minute I was happy, the next I was not. Saturated with bad feelings and dread, but I'm maintaining this happy facade. I hate it when I think I'm alone, so I let my "Run Out of Battery" look stay on my face, and then I turn around and someone's there and I have to wipe it off immediately. It hurts, right. So yeah. I haven't eaten my lollipop yet. My paragraphing sucks.

*

So to ease the strain on my heart, I focused it on my eyes. ♥
Meaning... I made this!

out of this page.
I cropped it because fck it all Level 4 akuma gives me the creeeeeps.

and we'll be slaves to our salvation.

2009-09-28T17:05:00.003+08:00

Teary eyed?
Who's teary eyed?

*

kyo ne? totemo kurushiku hi da...
dare mo shiranai. dakara, ima nihongo de shika ienai.

kono kimochi...
kurushii ne.
shikashi, watashi wa mada waratte deshou?
kono kokoro no itami omae yori tsuyoi desu ga, mada waratte deshou?
wakaranai ka?

♥

shizuka ni, ne?
watashi no himitsu dakara.
zutto zutto... shizuka ni natte kudasai.
...

Doushite?

2009-09-27T02:44:00.003+08:00

Kimi wo suki ni natte shimattan darou?

♥

I'm emo as pie.

Not sure how that makes sense.

Finished DGM, and now I'm in serious withdrawal. Am 8 chapters-ish from updating myself with the manga, and then I'll be thrown into MECHA MECHA withdrawal. The good part is, I have the BBF DVD (finally).

The other good part is, today I met a lot of people! Including
- Yasmin Disney from Children's House
- Aina & Aishah from Al-Hidayah
- Alysha and her entire family from... class. LOL.
- That DUDE. THAT I MET AT A PASAR RAMADHAN A FEW WEEKS AGO.

SO TOTALLY RANDOM.

We also met Marina Mahathir. But. I mean. It was her open-house, so it was hardly unexpected, LOL.

*

Thursday night was my Family Only openhouse. It pretty much rocked. Conned free Korean lessons out of my (conveniently half-Korean) cousin K. Shuzzy. Played with babies, omaigod, so many babies. :D The duit raya's sitting on the shelf, nicely accumulated. I'll only count it all at the end, because, I dunno, I feel richer that way. For about 20 secs, then it's off to the bank we gooo~.

I don't like people who get to keep their duit raya. T_T

*

Feeling kinda grumpy.

Bakanda.
Heeheehooo classsiccccccc.

*

Why did nobody think to tell me they weren't together anymore? :S
Why did I fail to see this?

(Truth be told, I was never really observant in the first place but FOR THE SAKE OF THE LORD, they've been over for 2 months and I just found out TODAY.)

[throws a JaeJoong tantrum]

Uber grumpy now.

*

Stop using the word fabulous.
It doesn't make you sound cool.

*

I can't wait to see Ida.
Where are you, bitch? :(

Oh wait. It's my phone that's perpetually off/uncharged. Gomen ^_^'

*

The difference between Arashi and DBSK is, most of Arashi's songs serve the purpose of lifting me up.

e.g. Happiness, Niji, Hadashi no Mirai, Oh Yeah, Subarashiki Sekai, Still, A.RA.SHI, Kaze no Mukou e, Ashita no Kioku, Believe, One Love, etc...

While DBSK's songs... I don't know.
They take my breath away.

Why? I'm not sure. The only Arashi song that has had this musical, vocal impact on me is Be With You. You know the kind of song, it puts you in a contemplative, almost reflective(?) mood. Melancholic, but calm.

DBSK... The music just washes over me and puts me in a bubble of tranquility.
Arashi... The music is like my fuel; it charges me up and gets me ready to face any problem head-on.

Do you get it?
Why am I explaining this to you?

Anyway. I love all ten of 'em. :)

*

I will NOT say that HeySayJump is growing on me.
But damn that Yamada...

I think I've fallen again..

2009-09-25T14:16:00.001+08:00

HYD.
What's your pull?
Wakaranai yo. :(

OMAIGOD

2009-09-24T15:37:00.001+08:00

MAJOR FLAIL MOMENT
I HAVE AN OPENHOUSE TO HOST IN LESS THAN 120 MINUTES
BUT OMAIGOD
ALLEN'S SYNC RATE WITH HIS INNOCENCE SURPASSED 100%
OMAIGOD
OMAIGOD
FLAIL FLAIL FLAIL
SURPASSED 100%
HE'S GOING TO BE A GENERAL
OMAIGOD
OMAIGOD
HEVLASKA SAID IT'S LIKE A FETUS
WHAT THE F*CK IS IT GOING TO BE WHEN IT'S "BORN" (SO TO SPEAK)?!!?!?!!?!!?!?

NANI KORE?!!!?!?!?!

つかれたよ~

2009-09-23T21:56:00.002+08:00

I want a nikki and I want one bad.

I also wish I had the strength in me to write Yullen fics.
But I don't.

Somehow, it feels like I didn't do anything important today. Was supposed to raya with Naim and family, but they weren't in or smth. Visited Nenek again. Isi biskut raya for the openhouse tomorrow. Did I mention that's my favourite chore, ever? Because it is. Wiping chairs, however, is not. ;(

*

I think the most significant thing I achieved today was Episode 70 of DGM. Why? Because soon (in a matter of minutes, in fact), Allen Walker with God's Clown (his new Innocence) will join my little Sidebar of Fame over there. <----

It is... phenomenally... hot.
And then he goes and makes this ^___^ face
which totally makes me want
to
glomp
someone.

Haha.
Hee.
Hoo.

♥

Sparkles.

2009-09-22T23:03:00.003+08:00

As always, Fai's house was fabulous. :) The food was nice, and we watched Pushing Daisies while gossing on people. Well, not true. We just talked, in the end. It always feels nice to get close to rainbow-filled, sunshine-smile Fai. :D It wasn't easy though, considering the other kids were outside playing with sparklers. Stayed there 'til elevenish, just as Gossip Girl was starting. Pooh.

Fai's baby cousin wanted to be carried by me...
... because he thought I was Azimah.

So all the other cousins were like, "LOL hi Azimah!"
Alia: T_T

♥

I missed a day?

2009-09-22T19:52:00.004+08:00

Yesterday, we visited Abang Rino and Kak Nani at D'sara Specialist. They are down with dengue fever; very worrying. :( I was entertained by watching Adylla and Irynna (their two daughters aged 8 and 6) play with the hospital bed. For lunch and onwards, we spent our time at Seri Petaling. Nanabaka :p only came back at five. But she still sempat show me a damn kakkoii vid of Chang Min. Hello, Chang Min in a school uniform. 8) I can't remember what we did after that, for some reason.

EDIT: I remember! :D We went to Aunt Ani's house in TTDI, stuffed our faces with mee siam and chocolate chip cookies, and laughed ourselves silly over random Youtube videos. I ♥ my family, lol.

Today, at eleven we set off for Felda Palong 3, which is in Palong, which is in Gemas, which is apparently upon the border of Negeri Sembilan and Johor. Pretty damn long car-ride, even if I say so myself. Stayed there for, what, 90 minutes. Then made our way back. Crazy right? xD We stopped by at D'sara Specialist again because we'd heard that Kak Nani had been put into ICU for a bit, but by the time we arrived (ten minutes to Maghrib) she was okay. Well, as okay as she could be. :(

EDIT: Somewhere between Palong and the hospital, we found time to visit Aunt Siti's kampung in Negeri Sembilan. She has two sons, and one of them went to VI. That's pretty much it. LOL.

Now, I just had a REALLY long hot shower. So I'm feeling pretty snug. :D

Off to an openhouse that never fails to be attended every year- Faizura's one at Kampung Baru. Ye-ay.

ALSO ALLEN WALKER WHAT.
He is made of awesome.
Like, awesome awesome.
Awesomesauce.
8D Allen Walker is awesomesauce.
But he does NOT have awesomesauce hair, like Kanda does.

(I have no idea what the point of that was.)

♥

valiance.

2009-09-20T23:11:00.004+08:00

Nenek's openhouse was, well, Nenek's openhouse. Went there straight after solat (bumped into Ashraf, Sya, Faiz and some other miscellaneous people from Hartamas), and helped to prepare the food and stuff. Crowd was in full swing from 12 noon 'til 3pm (I CARRIED AN ITALIAN BABY YAY), and everyone finally cleared out by six thirty.

Left for Sri Petaling at about seven, stayed there (LONTONG OMG NEGERI SEMBILAN RENDANG OMG MAK LONG AH I LOVE YOU ♥) for about an hour or two, after which we made our way back only to decide to take a short detour to Mak Long Awi's house since she couldn't make it to Nenek's openhouse due to her legs and all...

I'm okay. Deadbeattired from chasing babies though, and all the rendang I consumed today is getting to my head. ><; So. Just 2 episodes of DGM (oh what I can't resist), and then... I'll call it a night. :D

p/s: Life is awesome because for 2009, three out of four of my siblings qualify to give out duit raya. Thank you Kak Aida and welcome to the club! ^^;

*patiently waits for Abang Riza to get married W00TZ*

p/p/s: Dania Zahra's first Hari Raya Aidilfitri! She looked adorable today. And was in a reasonably good mood. Despite Abang Arif & family arriving quite late, I enjoyed my time with her. :3

p/p/p/s: Nana. Biskut you sedap seyh. :D My dad compared it to Famous Amos; my mom ckp "Pass". AHAHAH. Sadly, your ketupat ran out by the time I arrived. *tragic face* Kesimpulannya, please make more next time and put it in a jar labelled "ALIA'S SAMPLE". Ne? Domo arigatou. ;) Selamat Hari Raya to you and your Sho-kun as well. See you tomorrow. ♥

2009-09-20T00:00:00.001+08:00

selamat hari raya

Maaf Zahir & Batin

It's that time of the year again. Another month of fasting is over and done with. Let's not compare how pretty our baju rayas are or how much duit raya we get, but rather, let us remember to salam our mamas and ayahs first thing in the morning and make sure the words of forgiveness that we speak are sincerely from the heart. Let's eat (but easy on the meat for those burdened with gout), and celebrate (but easy on the kenduris for those working 20-somethings), but in any case, for the love of God, please do not burn any fingers on those darn mercun. They're shiny and they make loud noises, yes, but they kinda hurt. And this has been another eccentric, somewhat emotionless Raya post from Alia Astaman. :)

* More sappy entry will come later. Probably after solat raya. Siapa sembahyang dkt Masjid D'sara? I will see you there! :D

what raya means to me

Five years ago, Raya was long drives back to Negeri Sembilan, being welcomed by the charm of ancient television sets and Jingga/random wooden cubes for toys. It was that God-forsaken bathroom that required us to sprint a few meters in our towels to get to our rooms; it was hearing the mice squeak at night and trying to pinpoint their locations; it was letting Mama brush my wet hair in front of that perpetually dusty mirror. It meant stuffing my face with kuih raya, accompanied by all the darling aunts, uncles, cousins and more aunts (my family has an abundance of those) while watching scary movies on that really, really, tiny TV screen. It meant helping Mak Su put the money in the packets; it meant going upstairs to listen to the takbir raya as the villagers knocked; it meant floods of people coming through our doors, and we'd go through the salam-smile-receive-duit-raya-gracefully procedure millions and millions of times. More often than not, they were RM1s or RM2s but they meant so much, as they were usually given with a good dose of love (and some advice about marriage.. but that came later..).

Now, Raya, for me, feels like it's been reduced. It's been reduced to openhouse upon openhouse upon openhouse, where people give the money not for the sake of giving, but for the sake of letting the world know that they have money to give. Where even the day before Raya can be spent going for tuition (guilty.), and the bloody night before Raya, where once it was spent with fireworks (guilty.) and cousins and laughter, we entertain ourselves with Astro instead. Where has the meaning gone? The same place the Merdeka spirit went to, I suppose.

But let's not be whiny. 2009's Raya is here, and I intend on celebrating it until I am absolutely fulfilled. After all, this is the first year that all seven of us Astamans are in the same country. Hopefully, two unmentioned brothers of mine will see fit to start talking to each other again, my sister won't fall asleep at the table, my dad and I can get by without breaking something and we don't all fall into a state of depression due to missing kampung (or rather, Kampung, because it's a special place to us) too much.

... Yeah. I'm interested in this year's Raya.
Have a good one guys! ♥

Kanda squee!

2009-09-19T11:43:00.005+08:00

3:02 is love. Love, I tell you.
3:39 is the hottest anime man-pile, EVAR.

I CAN'T WAIT TO REACH THIS PART.
♥

unintentional!

2009-09-19T01:09:00.002+08:00

Well, originally anyway.

I'm referring to the happy gayness that is my current blog song.

I figured, well, I've already the pink background.
Why not put a song to match? ;p

[gets bricked by a million SuJu fans]

:DDDDD
I'm looking for DGM icons now.
(Did I fail to mention that D.Gray Man is awesome?)

Good night.
X

ps. Ch 463 = ONE BIG 17-PAGE SASUKE WANK. I iz not pleased. >:(
Luckily...
That drawing of Ameterasu... was kinda...
hot t.t.

on another note.

2009-09-19T00:24:00.001+08:00

my blog totally changed character once i removed the sparkly rainbows. yes?

^_^;

I am at episode 37 of D.Gray Man. oh Kanda you tortured soul you~. ♥ Go start an Emo Anime Character club with Sasuke and Uryuu, why don't you. B)

yes, the simplicity.

2009-09-19T00:21:00.003+08:00

~~so i stepped back and took a long, hard look at the person i've become~~ i got bored, and thus, you people (or rather, me :D) will be entertained with a new layout. soon enough.

i ate sushi today. ♥
the chef at the restaurant looks like the everyone-thought-he-was-the-bad-guy-but-he-wasn't dude from Ryusei no Kizuna.

in the words of an icon i once saw:

I don't suffer from ~~insanity~~ fan-girlitis. I enjoy every minute of it.

i am a loser.

2009-09-17T00:16:00.003+08:00

NYC Boys (OR WHATEVER THE SHITZ THEY'RE CALLED) came on [V] JK Pop
and
I
was
like

"WTF I WAITED FOR A GAJILLION EPISODES OF YOU AND YOU NEVER PLAY A SINGLE ARASHI SONG FOR ME NOW I WANT TO DO MY F*CKING ADDITIONAL MATHEMATICS HOMEWORK AND TURNING POINTS ARE GIVING ME A HEADACHE AND YOU GIVE ME F*CKING SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLDS WITH F*CKING CHIHUAHUA FACES THAT ARE STILL IN THE FEATHERS-AND-SPARKLY-RIBBONS STAGE!?!??!"

and then.
The shit hit the fan (rainbows, sparkles, feathers and all) when after that video........

ARASHI'S EVERYTHING came on.
Like, apologetically.

Channel [V] listens to me.
I am awesome. B)

*

That is all in Alia's diary of Fail today.
Good-bye!

Watch this for good health.
NO SRSLY.

ARASHI + HARRY POTTER PUPPET PALS.

o.

2009-09-16T11:58:00.003+08:00

Absented myself from school. Allergic reactions and a heavy heart will do that to you.

"I think I'm lacking in love. But, it's because I don't have enough of it that I'm also seeking it. Liking someone is something that person himself has to take, right? You can't violate the law, you have to care about the eyes of society while going out and breaking up within that, that's not love, is it? That's like the same thing as going out with society. I think love is more like something that is clean and pure." - Ninomiya Kazunari.

Why so deep, Neen?

Every Arashi fan has their story. We all have our ways of entering the fandom and our reasons for staying. With our boys celebrating their 10th year, I guess I was inspired to share mine. Sorry it's a bit long.

One day, my older brother told me he found a really cool show, and that it was even better in Japanese. As weird as it sounded, I agreed to watch it with him. Turns out it was an anime, called Full Metal Alchemist. We watched the whole thing together, and we were hooked. We started looking into other anime and manga as well, but I took an interest in the music a bit more than he did. So casually, I started looking into jpop, and I found Utada Hikaru, whom I recognized from her song in Kingdom Hearts. I got into a ton of other artists, primarily Ayumi Hamasaki, but mostly (if not all) were female. These singers inspired me to write again. They made me think about my life, who I am, and how to live positively. They even helped me grow closer to God. So how does Arashi fit in?

I'd heard of Arashi and JE. I watched plenty of dramas with Jun and Nino, and while I respected them as actors, I refused to give Arashi a chance. I hated Johnny's with a passion. Partly because my picture of boybands wasn't a positive one, but mostly, I just didn't get it. Boys, or even adult men, were dancing around in sparkly pink pants with huge smiles on their faces before a bunch of stupid, overzealous fangirls, singing songs about being happy... how fake, I thought. Do they expect us to actually believe that crap? How can they go around pretending life is dandy and wonderful all the time? I like artists who are real, genuine. There was no way a JE group could be anything more than manufactured.

But as it turns out, some of the artists I do like guested on this show called Domoto Kyoudai, which is hosted by none other than a JE group - Kinki Kids. And as much as I tried not to, I started to like them, especially Tsuyoshi. I didn't become a fan, but I started to think that maybe JE artists weren't as bad as I thought.

Still, I avoided them. But one day, my dad rented Letters From Iwo Jima, and I was shocked when I recognized the actor. I looked up the name and found out it was Ninomiya Kazunari from the JE group, Arashi. Interesting.

But it didn't happen until the time Step and Go was released. I heard about their single having good sales. Oh, Arashi. Isn't that the group with Ninomiya and Matsujun in it? I wonder what their group sounds like.

I looked up their songs and saw a familiar title - Sakura Sake. That was a song I had heard before and loved, but didn't know the artist. And oh yeah, they did the themes to Hana Yori Dango. Those songs were pretty good. So I watched the PV to Sakura Sake and thought I'd try one more song. Just one.

It was Kotoba Yori Taisetsuna Mono.

I loved it. And I thought, wow, I've liked all of their songs so far. So much for just one. I thought I'd try looking for a few PVs to download, and enjoyed them all. Then, I heard that this group actually has multiple TV shows, and that some groups had subtitled them. And where were these groups? A little place called livejournal.

So I watched a bunch of them - DnA, AnS, MMA... and I was addicted. I couldn't stop. I fell in love with these dorks, weirdos, idiots, friends... this group of five that was real and genuine.

But right from the beginning, there was one person who stood out to me, and I didn't understand why, at first. Ohno Satoshi was as much of a dork as the rest, he had a great voice and was a great dancer, but I didn't get it. I like how Jun is caring and not at all the jerk I pegged him as. I like Aiba's upbeat nature and silly ideas. I like Nino's snark and complexity. I like Sho's diversity as the smart, cool one and the cowardly fail-man. I like Ohno's talent, sure, but it went deeper than that.

I realized it when I watched my first Arashi concert, Iza Now. He outshines everyone on stage. It made me speechless and blew me away. Was this the same person, the one who never speaks up, who never commands attention, who could slip by unnoticed?

And then it hit me: Ohno is exactly like me in those aspects. Shy when attention is drawn to him. Quiet. Stumbles on his words even if he knows what he wants to say. Except where I was insecure, he could push it all aside and become an entirely different person on stage. It made me think for the first time that maybe, I could do the same thing. Maybe I could push away whatever hinders me and become who I want to be without becoming someone I'm not. At the time, I was starting to consider becoming an English professor, but brushed off the idea because I hate public speaking and was terrified at the idea of standing in front of a classroom and teaching. For the first time, I didn't think "I want to do this," I thought, "I can do this."

Before Arashi, I was starting to grow, mature, find out who I was. But it was Arashi who made me start believing in myself. They gave me confidence, the courage to be myself, and the ability to love who I am. I'm not afraid of what people think anymore. I'm not afraid of my own dreams. I am so happy with who I am.

With their 10 year, I've thought about how they struggled in the same way that I did - they were thrown together suddenly and had to figure out exactly what "Arashi" was. And with the short time I've known them, I think their conclusion was also like mine: they are Arashi, and they are themselves.

I've delved in and out of fandoms, but I've never been as deep as I am with Arashi. They are like my friends, my support group that cheers me on, my inspiration. And I've wondered if, as unimaginable as it is, there will ever be a time when I fall out of the fandom.

But then I watch Aiba dress up in mirrors to become invisible, Sho make faces as he's dangling from a height, Nino snapping sarcastic comments from the side, Jun letting out a goofy grin while smacking the back of his members' heads, Ohno spacing out and giving odd remarks as their odd leader, and I know. As long as Arashi are themselves, I think I'll continue to love them.

- Kailice, LJ.

I'm so having a weepy day.

So I think because almost everyone has told their "Arashi Story" I'll share mine in tribute for Arashi's 10th anniversary.

I guess I'll start at the very beginning? Because I spent some of my childhood in Japan (dad was in the Navy) I've always had an interest in Japanese culture and I vaguely remember SMAP debuting before we left Japan. Anyways... fast forward to when I was a freshman in high school and the new girl (now one of my closest friends) had recently moved back from Japan. We bonded over having had spent time in Japan and I didn't realize it then but she was the first one who introduced me to Arashi who had just debuted several months before they left. (It wasn't until this past summer when I had a mixed CD playing in my car that my friend found out I liked Arashi and reminded me that she told me about them all those years ago!)

Fast forward again to my year abroad in England. There was a point where I was pretty much an insomniac because I was keeping in touch with friends at home (an 8 hour time difference) and staying up all night so I could talk to them when they were awake. I was lucky that my classes were scheduled late... There were times that I would be waiting for my friends to go online and I'd be super bored; I couldn't access online shows because I didn't have the proper region address so I decided to google Sailor Moon to see if I could watch it on something like YouTube. I found it and it lead to other animes like Prince of Tennis and Kyou Kara Maou. I had a half Japanese flatmate and asked her to recommend something for me to watch when I grew tired of animes and she gave me Gokusen. Yes, I was Jun-baited. I started out watching all the Jun dramas (with some Nino ones thrown in) I could (my flatmate was kind enough to translate the dramas we watched together) and thought that the OST for Hanadan was cute. Though my flatmate wasn't an Arashi fan, she knew who they were and told me to search for them on YouTube... and thus sent me down this sparkly rainbow path. MMA, D no Arashi, G no Arashi, etc were there in all their glory and I couldn't get enough. Side note, I am slowly baiting my youngest brother with the craziness of D and G no Arashi and Arashi no Shukudai-kun episodes.

Coming back from England found me losing touch with my flatmate and busy dealing with the culture shock that made me homesick for England. (I think I've told this story before but I'll tell it again ^^) It wasn't until my younger brother wanted someone to go with him to watch "Letters from Iwo Jima" that I got baited back, this time with Nino. Since I had watched some of Nino's dramas I recognized the kanji of his name but wasn't sure until I saw his face. I totally spazzed out and annoyed my brother who just didn't care (me: "I KNOW who that is!", brother: "Really? That's nice.", me: "He's from this boyband in Japan and he...", brother (with scary glare): "I am TRYING to WATCH this movie.", me: "..."). I spent the rest of the movie in awe of Nino's acting (and admiring his closeups on the big screen ^_^). Nino re-baited me back in to the world of Jdramas and Arashi. On another side note, my mom has been Nino-baited through Ryusei no Kizuna, lol.

I've spent a majority of my time fangirling Arashi on the outskirts of fandom and just originally joined LJ because I wanted to blog again. I was happy being on the outskirts of fandom because of my crazy schedule during my last year at university didn't really allow me to devote much time to fangirling. When I joined LJ the floodgates opened and I was drawn more and more to fangirl Arashi. So now I'm here. Sucked into the wonder that is Arashi. Five guys who genuinely care about each other and their fans. I think that's why they sucked me in further than any other JE band that I very briefly showed interest in. Plus the fandom is genuinely nice, which is what scared me with other JE bands.

I love them as a whole and each individually. Arashi wouldn't work without any one of them I think. Arashi is Arashi because of the 5 boys, no, men who come together and simultaneously are crazy, talented, and sexy/cute. Without one of them Arashi isn't Arashi. Their dynamics wouldn't be the same if one of them weren't part of the group. Watching them when I'm stressed never fails to make me laugh and consequently make me feel so much better. Listening to their music puts a smile to my face. Or makes me feel better, as corny as that may sound. I think that they will keep me sane through pharmacy school.

Please don't ask me to pick a favorite. Between Matsujun's tsundere nature, Nino's snark, Aiba's sunny disposition, Sho's paradoxical personality of epic win and fail, and Riida's talent and subtle leadership, it becomes hard to choose. I love them all equally, though sometimes I find myself partial to Ohno. All together they make Arashi Arashi. Their perseverance and dedication to each other and the fans is what I think endears them to so many people.

I don't think I'll ever fall out of fandom because Arashi has me so tightly in their grasp, but I know that if I ever did, Arashi leaves the door open for their fans so that it's easy to fall back in love with them and back into fandom.

Phew, this was long. Happy Anniversary Arashi ^^ !!!

- Sunnydreams416.

ten years.

2009-09-15T18:37:00.004+08:00

omg yay!!!
DBSK @ #2 and Arashi @ #1.
♥ ♥
I LOVE JAPAN. Wahaha.

______________

*hangs self in shame*

Why? Because until I totally sat down at the laptop today and looked at my desktop background, I TOTALLY, 110% FORGOT IT WAS ARASHI DAY TODAY.

I'm such a bad fan it's not even funny. D:

Though, truth be told... In the Arashi calendar itself, the anniversary is stated as 3rd November (so near my birthday, squee ♥ ), aka the date of their debut song.

I don't know which date to take. x)

In any case.

I adore all of them.

__

MatsuJun. I was Jun-baited, i.e. for the n00bs, I came to know and love Arashi thanks to this guy. The DoS, the baby-face, the last one to turn 20. He is full of awesome because of his rough, "I'm cool" attitude that somewhat fails because underneath that you can see a really, really caring and kind person.

Aiba Masaki. Always the spontaneous, fun-loving kind that comes up with all kinds of funny ideas that constantly makes me think that the inside of Aiba's head must be a very fun, colorful place. Big, soft-hearted baka. We love you. :)

Ohno Satoshi. The one with the art gallery, the one fated to be with that other one :P, the fishing freak. I love him for his simplicity, for the fact that where other celebrities would try to hide the fact that they love such a crude activity as fishing, he celebrates it with all his heart... and even goes fishing during the filming! I love that he is the "unwanted" Leader, but he is the Leader anyway. Oh-chan, you rock.

Sakurai Sho. Oh, you smarty-pants. The beauty of Sho is, he doesn't know why he's an idol. (In his mind) He's not as good-looking, as good a singer, or even as spontaneous- all of the characteristics that make an idol. But his over-whelming humility, the subtle maternal ways in which he treats his bandmates, and his freaking IQ level makes up for all of it. Sho, Nana is your one true love. ♥

Ninomiya Kazunari. Ah. The one that changed my favourite color. :) Let's talk about skills- how you can throw absolutely anything to do with hands at him, and he will do it well. Gaming, what an otaku. I heard he reads manga. He has a blog. ^_^; He self-taught himself piano, guitar, harmonica... He is the only Johnny's performer that has acted in a Hollywood (Clint Eastwood, no less) film, and also the only one that has received Japan's Individual Best Actor of The Year. Twice. His little satirical quotes, and the quick wit and sarcasm that he drenches each and every thing that comes out of his mouth... This is how he earned his place, as my absolute ichi-ban. :) Nino, don't change.

(AND DON'T FIGHT WITH OHNO ANYMORE!!!!! D:)

No fancy icons or graphics now... just sincere gratefulness that they are always around to make me feel better about myself. Always around to remind me that people can be kind, and smiling; that society is unforgiving but comfort can always be found in love; that life is a bitch when it knocks you down to your knees... but you can still keep singing about rainbows and sparkles anyway.

Thank you...
Arashi.

unnatural.

2009-09-13T17:33:00.000+08:00

Why is JaeJoong so.. pretty? :S

Somebody should call him Uchiha Hero or something.
LMAO.

nasi padang

2009-09-12T22:05:00.002+08:00

is the shiznits.
I love it more than I love pizza and pasta combined.
Srsly.

Raya next week! ♥

...

D.Gray Man is the shiznits too.
I've only watched 12 episodes but MY GAWDDDDDD
I'm hooked.

Also, why did it fail to show up on my radar before this that Nino is wearing leather pants in the Truth PV?

...
Happy 12th. ♥ ♥ ♥

sagashiteru.

2009-09-11T22:45:00.003+08:00

Aaah. Everyone's off having fun at Ash's party.

I'm feeling quite depressed about it, to be frank.

Sorry Ash. :(

*

Started watching D.gray Man. It's freaking cool; I sense the oncoming of a new obsession. Heh. The good thing about this is it's already wrapped, so, I won't be as helplessly hooked (like a fish and bait, I tell you) as I am with Naruto. In case you didn't notice, I droppped Bleach because I missed a few episodes and after watching the most recent one I just gave up altogether.

On another (not completely unrelated tho?) note... Happy 12th.

This 12th, marks 2 years and 10 months. If you honestly have no idea at all what I'm talking about, you probably don't know me. :) I've been celebrating the 12th for what feels like forever. :p

*

Siapa solat Raya dkt D'sara?
Will see you there.

8 days and counting.
♥

farah! Pt ii.

2009-09-11T16:40:00.004+08:00

And some Melorish. :)

First off, OMG WEEKEND YAY. [insert rainbow here]

Second, am in the midst of reading NS 463.
Lmao Sasuke got pwned, like, pwned, like, PWNED.
Greater than the fail-boat that is Stephenie Meyer.

I know he's supposed to be.. like.. "my" character or whatever, but, dude.
Lmao.

Here, have some more icons! :D
I ♥ LJ.

Credits and more goodies can be acquired here.

Some more... just for Farah. :P

Haha.
A compilation of Matsu Jun's funny moments. :P

Hehhssss.

Farah!

2009-09-10T20:43:00.002+08:00

I found it. :)

Sorry but the song is called "Tell Me What You Wanna Be". xD

Biology homework, some Ed Board stuffings (lol), and YZ prompt. EB meeting today was all sorts of funny and interesting.

....

Nyeh. Have an icon!

Lmao.

ew, homework.

2009-09-09T19:10:00.004+08:00

Also, Wye Zhi gave me a very yummy prompt to write out.

Also also, my Sivik project lies unfinished.
It is giving me the evil eye, quite remniscent of Pn Enaliza's.

My shutters have become yellow due to my post-it infatuation.

My To-Do List is bitchier than a game-deprived Nino ~~(or a Nino-deprived Ohno)~~.

I'm sort of in-between things.

... Bonding with friends from Iceland over Japanese music; truly surreal.

That is all.
:D

-EDIT:

I'm .. so .. tired .. :falls flat: I hate the way some people just fall out of my life. Why do I let them fall so easily, burning the bridges I myself built with them, so carelessly, with no more than a regretful thought? I don't know who to blame. It's times like these... I'm so glad I have somebody real to love, and love me.

You know who you are.
I ♥ you.
In the truest sense.

ps: I have fugly hand-writing. Fo shiz.

flail.

2009-09-08T21:40:00.000+08:00

....
um.
THIS.

:D

ER WILLSOMEBODY PLZZZ TELL ME WHAT EP THIS IS FROM?

Aibaka!

2009-09-07T21:34:00.004+08:00

Um, aww. :)
Keep the hair color plzkthxbai.

...

Yeah that's it, really. xD

EDIT:-

Why so cute, Neen? x)

Non-fail Sho is super adorable.
Yes, not adorkable. Adorable.

MY FIRST KYAAA~~ SHO MOMENT?

(Sadly, not the case. My first Kyaaaaa~~~ Sho moment was during AAA 2008. :P La Tormenta. Of course. Right? Right. Kyaaaa.)

contradict.

2009-09-07T00:03:00.004+08:00

Should little Japanese boys be allowed to be this beautiful? D:

I mean, SERIOUSLY.

You WANT the pedophile rate in Japan to go DOWN, right?! How the hell is that going to happen as long as Johnny Kitagawa's Boyband Factory is still alive and kicking and churning out angelic cherub faces like the one above?!

... For all the smarts Japanese people have, they fail miserably in this. xD

EDIT:-

LMAO BEST 3-SECOND VIDEO OF MY LIFE. :P

... He does look twelve!!!!!!!

But he was born in 1993. Which would make him sixteen.

.... EHHHHHH!?!?!?!

captain!

2009-09-06T22:55:00.003+08:00

Not my best work. ):
Sorry Nadia!

Full download available here.
Will try to make another (better) one soon, ne? ♥

Yoroshiku onegai shimasu. ^^;
X

cinta.

2009-09-06T21:08:00.003+08:00

1. Go to the fourth folder where you store your pictures.
2. Find the fourth picture and post it.
3. Explain why you saved it.
4. Tag four others to do the same.

:D I even have this picture because I needed it for a background at one point in time... and then. I just keep it because it's pretty, it has Jun in glasses and Arashi playing jan ken. Yosh.

win.

2009-09-05T22:51:00.007+08:00

CAN YOU PLEASE WATCH THIS FIRST BEFORE
MOVING ON TO THE NEXT SECTION BECAUSE IT'S OMG
SO
FUCKING
BEAUTIFUL
AND I KNOW I JUST SWORE
BUT
SHIET.

MATCHING CLOTHES :O

From a certain LJ community that I shall not mention for fear of being judged.

EDIT:-

It's raining cats dogs and Arashi picspam.
Srsly.

Just when you thought it couldn't get better.....
Somebody just HAS to upload an acapella version.

How could you go back to flat, shallow, meaningless American music ("take a ride on your disco stick") after listening to this?

D: <-- flail face.

bang.

2009-09-05T21:43:00.007+08:00

I haz bangs. :D
<--- Forevermore my first Jdrama OTP.
OMG DEIDARA'S FINALLY GONE OMG KARIN'S ACTUALLY PRETTY OMG KONAN'S VOICE OMG AMEGAKURE OMG PAIN OMG MADARA IS TOBI REVEALING OMG BANGS OMG MY HAIRSTYLIST TODAY LOOKED LIKE HE BELONGED IN JOHNNY'S OMG OMG OMG

Ii doyoubi deshou? ^_^;

Explanation:-
1. Naruto ep was MAXIMUM UMAI (in the words of Arashi). :D It's like Part I animation has returned, and Suigetsu no longer looks like he has Down Syndrome, and Karin's hair looked absolutely gorgeous, and there was this really cute Team Taka scene (that was fresh without being filler). Ah. They're growing on me, these four.

2. I got bangs at BSC. Somehow, the manager reminds me of Ogura-san. I forgot to bring a book, so I whiled away the time placing the stylists' faces into different Jpop & Kpop bands. e.g. "That dude... looks like a Suju."
* Somehow, Arthur (my regular guy) was the only one who made it kpd Tahap Arashi. ;p

I can't make myself watch Door To Door. D:

This is somewhat the prettiest Sho-icon I've seen. x)
I just like.. looking at it. Lulz.

adored.

2009-09-05T02:58:00.004+08:00

Of grudges & nicknames. One of those rare times when all five sport good hair and clothes. Well done, stylists who worked on this episode! ♥ Guest was funny too.

I would like to say I stayed up late to party and watch movies and do other cool things, but that would be a lie. I stayed up late (am staying up late? Grr, tenses) to do my tuition homework. Followed by my Biology school homework. Followed by an update of my ever-growing to-do list.

Oh Jun. Your girliness = pwn. :D

Lols. Nino's such a little brat. Just because he basically owned the game... Tch. ^^;

My bet is, a lot of politician's wives (cough) would kill to have Nino's ability to look like he's been dipped in the fountain of youth. So if he ever by some catastrophe loses his ability to play the guitar, play the piano, write songs, sing really well, dance really well, act brilliantly and make bratty comments for a living... He can at least sell his secret look-like-a-teenager potion, which he has got to be taking. Lol.

You want seventeen forever? Tak yah cari dkt Forks. Tokyo dah ada. :P

hero.

2009-09-04T18:54:00.002+08:00

I was right, it was tiring, but at least it's over and I got myself an eyeful of Arashi 5x10: All The Best, Limited Edition. I hate you Nene. So much. :( But at least you brought it for me, so you're somewhat forgiven. Credits to Fzln for burning me an Arashi CD, thanks bb. Got myself registered for the JLPT exam today ♥ ; somehow, I keep throwing nervous glances at the examination slip that I have to bring. Is it impossible that I can't wait for December yet am dreading it infinitely? X

nerarenai.

2009-09-04T00:39:00.003+08:00

Can't sleep again; three guesses why? Again, it's self-inflicted so right to whine is basically non-existent. I would tell you how many 20-second videos like the above I've watched in the past hour or so... but I have a reputation to maintain.

I like the way Nino sleeps with his music, and MatsuJun protects his precious million-dollar face even on the plane.

I'm having one of those God damn why am I still here in Malaysia?! moments. It's a really long one... brought on by this right here. Feel like retracting Nana's gift because I read that upon her recommendation. >:(

My parents are back. Will have to stop typing for a while. X

dolce.

2009-09-03T23:16:00.002+08:00

This is for you, love. :)
(Reward for the Add Maths A1.)

Full size download available here.

♥ + good karma included.